I am freaking out right now. I mean freaking out. The American government is being taken over by extreme right wing politicians. Not just Federally, but there are 31 Republican governors and only 18 democratic ones in office. All three branches of government are controlled by republicans, plus they have the potential to have a conservative leaning Judicial system. I feel like one of those crazy people right now. The world is changing, there will be bloodshed. Realizing only half of America voted during this election, that 46% cast throw away ballots or didn’t vote at all. To realize that half the country are totally apathetic. To be a mom raising children in this new world, like a world sixty years ago. I have been going along thinking good will happen, I just need to do good, be helpful and caring, as I am, raise my children the same, vote, speak up as much as possible, and justice would prevail eventually around the world. That there were enough people doing good, we were moving in a positive direction, that we were changing the world. I laughed today when I realized that we, the ones who care, are a minority. Only 25% of the population of America voted Democratic. Take Hilary out of the equation. (She still represents the Democratic party). The same holds true for the Republican party, who BANK on that 46% who don’t give a shit. They know that their guns can take care of us bleeding hearts. Their jails, their crushing of social programs, creating tent towns under the freeways. The Republicans know that there is a majority of Americans who will probably be fine, some with money will rake it in, so to them they don’t mind what’s happening on the streets. Their hearts aren’t affected by it. I am part of a minority that cries when she hears about people suffering, I want to do something or have nothing at all myself. I walk on that line, getting closer than I’ve ever been with the political shift that’s taken place this past week. I can’t just go back to my life and not fight this. Even though I see now that we are a small group. The only hope is for the WHOLE WORLD to UNITE!! One country can’t do it alone, not two or three or five. It HAS TO BE ONE WORLD. I wonder how many of us are out there? How many bleeding-heart liberals exist on Planet Earth today? Time to make art.
Category: Meltdowns
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Painting. Why do we paint? What are we painting for? Who are we painting for? What are we trying to communicate in our paintings, if anything? How has Facebook changed our lives as painters, with a 24-hour audience? How has being painters altered our lives? How does it alter our day to day activities? How we look at and respond to the world? Do we have a collective voice? Are we bonded as painters? Have we become one?
Naptime. Friday. Paintings worked on, getting closer to where I want to go. The layering, the foggy, dusty eyes. Texture creating memory, on the canvas becoming a rivers edge, always changing, eroding and coming back again. On paper, in my notebooks a moment. A flash of time, a scrap of paper with paint drops from several painting sessions, a little mini journal on my studio floor. A tiny scrap, taking on a life of its own. Walked on, stomped on, drawn on, glued on. “Notebook project” taking on a larger life. Prototype made, Rives BFK, four sheets, painted on separately, folded and sewn together, is sculptural, physical. Trying to connect with the canvas in the same way. Getting closer. Not easy. Skin dry, paint spots on it, neck tired, body tired. Still have to be mom. Babies waking up soon. Need to get energy. Had crazy week. Realized I am crazy. Need to take break, need to get head clear. Dentist said I have grinded my teeth down, bad. Need to start meditating again. I lied last week when I say I don’t have moments when I say I need to do this or that, I need to change. I do still say that, feel that. Or should I accept my grinding teeth? Paint every chance I get. Not take a break? Forget to re-order my checks. Forget everything but the most essential? I need to go now. Sit outside in the sunshine before the babies wake up from their naps.