I can hear again. Airplanes in the cool dark November sky, humming birds starting to quiet down, there chirps become quiet and less frequent. Kids play with a basketball at the park. Motorcycles, A hum an echo of people talking, people laughing. I hear water running, my body aching, I munched it hard today at the ice skating rink. It was the kids first time skating, and Alans too. I used to skate all the time when I was a kid. I still Roller Blade. Jack wouldn’t try to Skate on the ice, Fiona was brave and came out. I skated, and it went well for a while. When everyone was done skating and were changing back into their shoes. I said “I’m gonna go one more time”. I went out and decided to skate faster since I didn’t need to keep an eye on Fiona. I started off, gliding one foot to the next. A guy in front of me said, “Whoa, that was a close one” when he almost fell. I hit some narley ice and started to fumble. Then BAM, I fell, left palm, right palm, right elbow skinned red, left front knee, skid both knees. “Are you OK?” someone asks. I look around hoping my kids didn’t see me munch it. I said, “I’m fine and laughed it off”. It hurt BAD. Skinned by the ice ain’t no joke. It burnt, and hurt, and was numb all at the same time. When I came home I took a shower and got dressed for dinner. If I would have put on my pajamas I would be in bed for the night right now.
Tag: life
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Armageddon. I’m not feeling very comfortable with the thick, light grey, low lying, cool, eerie smoke-filled sky outside. Not one bit at all. It’s almost like in a movie, when everything gets still and then a catastrophic event happens. No one’s safe anymore. The hills look like they could ignite, like they are living creatures. I don’t hear anything right now except the kettle and the circulation fan. A few birds fly by and the trees start to rustle. I pour boiling water over coffee grounds. I think about how my personal, internal filter is completely gone. I’m exhausted after so many tragedies week after week. Jack and Fiona know about floods, hurricanes, white supremacists, gun violence, fires, smoke in the air, Trump, North Korea, sexism. I can’t protect them from all this information, and haven’t tried that hard. This is their reality, this is what they are growing up in. This is the world that they live in. I must lock them in the house today when they get home. They can’t play outside in the smoke. I don’t want them to watch T.V. either. It’s seeming stupider and stupider, those shows they watch. Especially Jack, his taste in shows is way too mature for his age. He’s starting to act like a teenager already and he’s only three and a half.
The shadows today are very strange. Muted shadows and reflections, almost an orange glow. Sun peers out through smoke, hit a book on my table. Still, I enjoy the quiet, the before every other minute I hear Mommy. I walk away for one minute, I tell Jack and Fiona where I am going, what I am doing and the minute I get there I hear Mommy. It’s an annoying phenomenon. Ten minutes. Shit that went by fast. I need more time before facing reality. Or should I say more time to not face reality, like time to go work in my studio! That is what I need today. Painting time.
Dirty Laundry Blog by Jennifer Hynes 