Tag: perimenopause

Twin Life

“Are you giving me a ticket?” I ask the parking ticket lady, I can see it’s too late for her to not give me a ticket, she’s already punching in all the info.

“You can wait in the car” she says.

I get in my car, engine running, hazards on, Fiona in her car seat, Billy in the back, windows fogged up. Its raining.

“I messed up, I’m a bad mom” I say as the parking lady hands me my $65.00 ticket.

“I knew I shouldn’t have done it, it is raining so hard I just wanted to run my son to school without getting Fiona out of the car. ” I say.

“I’m sorry, but this spot is dangerous, a parent got hit doing this same thing while taking her child out of the car seat. Since she was parked in red insurance didn’t cover her injuries, they said it was gross negligence since she parked in the red” she tells me.

I was scared getting Jack out if his car seat, the way the cars come around this intersection. I imagined a car whacking me as I was leaning into the car, I wondered what that would feel like on my legs, would they break? Would I recover?

As I drive Fiona to school I decide I will never do that again, hurry, cut corners, Park in red.

The whole reason we were hurrying was because we all overslept, Fiona missed the bus, Jack wouldn’t get dressed or get in the car, it was raining cats and dogs, just one of those mornings.

They are still sleeping right now but will be up soon. I need to make the breakfast and Fiona’s lunch. Jack doesn’t have school on Tuesdays or Thursdays so I need to figure out what to do with him. I want him to take Billy for a walk with me. I wish we could do that without any crying or complaining. He’s hard to bargain with.

I feel like crap. I have a headache and was up all night with hot flash after hot flash. Ugh. I wish I had a babysitter today. I wish I could paint today.

I just heard foot steps. It’s almost 8:00. I need to hurry now. My head is killing me.

Twelve hours to go.

School Time Paintings

This is the deal, right here. Black and white, legs stretched out wide, she’s a beautiful dog. Content because I took her for a walk.  Making GREAT headway on my book, Nap Time Paintings.  In fact, I have learned more the way that things have gone than if they had gone how I imagined they would. I figured I was paying the publishing company to layout my writings and illustrations beautifully.  Tt would look fantastic.  I found out, Artistically I am required to make all the decisions if I want it to look good, how I imagine it looking. Mind Blowing. You learn something new every day. I want to paint now. I have an hour. I also want to take my paintings to the frame shop.  My new Book, School Time Paintings By Jenny Hynes. Catch ya on the rebound.

Old Dog #2

How to build up your immunity when you’re an older mom with multiple young children


#1. Take baths, or meditate, or drink a cup of tea or coffee alone. The point is to be alone and chill. I know it’s hard, to find the time, to get away from the kids, to let go of responsibility and stress for twenty minutes. It’s hard and hard to justify it, until you realize you’re not so young anymore. Until every rendezvous to the kids museums and schools send you home with the flu. Until you can’t believe how much you’re getting sick. You start feeling like a heroin junkie on the couch playing cartoons for their little kids. Are you sick mommy? They ask. Yes, my throat hurts. I don’t tell them about the fever, the horrific body pains that shift each time I get a new fever. You begin to realize it’s time to take a bath, often. To take those twenty minutes. To not exercise as hard or as much as you used to, even though you see no reason not to EXCEPT that you literally do not have the energy to do it all. Just the basic stuff, cleaning, exercising, taking care of the house, the dog, playing with the kids, taking them places, grocery shopping and meal prep. Your body says NO in one way or another. Maybe it’s too late, maybe I’ve used up too much of my reserve, but it seems to me by trying to be healthy and productive as a mom I have made myself prone to sickness. I’m getting in the bath now, with a facial mask and shaving my legs. I’m drinking my water, having a glass of white wine. It’s Friday, the house is clean and all the laundry is clean. Jack and Fiona are at the park with the babysitter. The only thing I truly regret about this week is my lack of studio time, but I was sick. I miss the studio so much when I’m away.