Monday, Studio, Motherhood

I find myself lying on the carpet, listening to the clicking of buttons tossing in the dryer. I hear the hum of the dishwasher, chirping of the blue jays outside and an occasional roar of an airplane. The baby monitor is quiet, Jack and Fiona are taking their afternoon nap. I want to lavish here on the floor, but I also want to paint today. Ramona arrived feeling very bad, I sent her home with a bottle of Nyquil and told her “Go rest! Straight to bed.” Ramona never takes a sick day. She is one of the strongest people I know. When I give a recommendation for her I say, “Ramona is like a ray of sunshine, she is a baby whisperer, when she arrives you’ll be able to fully relax, sleep, or do whatever you need to do, you’ll know your babies are in good hands.” With no babysitter on a babysitter day I have to figure out how to fit it all in. I had a productive morning, kitchen is clean. I already took Billy and the babies for a hike. “Mam excuse me do you have a dog with you?” asks a very clean cut, shaven, park ranger as I push the B.O.B. towards him. “I thought she could be off leash?”  I say.  “Get your dog and I’ll take your information and explain.” He says. My legs go weak, I feel like I’m in big trouble.  “I thought dogs were allowed off the leash after that sign?” I say as I put on Billy’s leash. “Yes, the sign is in a bad location. I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt, I did not see you take your dog off the leash.” He says. I only took her off the leash a few feet early. I always keep her on the leash on that trail, not because I want to obey laws, but because it runs behind houses and Billy has a taste for cats. Today I took her off early because I’m pushing the B.O.B. over a rocky uneven trail, and Billy is stopping and sniffing everything pulling me backwards. During the hike I decided to let the babies have a taste of the trail. I’m teaching them to hike, the unfamiliar ground, dirt, mud, rocks, ups and downs. Jack runs along in his little baby shoes. Fiona stays close to the stroller. She’s not quite as confident as Jack on the trail. There’s poison oak to watch out for, hills to accidently roll down. If I lose track of Jack here the coyotes will take him. I have so much to teach them. I decide to go to my studio and try to paint for however long that monitor stays quiet. No pressure just to be creative for creativities sake. I examine the work from the previous day. I see something interesting, the orange paper with the trees on it looks like gauze when it’s back side up. I want to play with that. I prepare some paper. I rip up the orange paper by hand and adhere it with soft gel gloss. I hear Fiona cry a little. I get scared, I’m inspired, I want to work. She’s quiet again. I keep working, I draw with a pen, “Doodle.” I read that doodling is great for relaxation and helping with anxiety and depression. I’m having fun, the baby monitor is quiet. I add yellow and white paint. Just for fun. I get three pieces I like. It’s time to go back upstairs and get ready for the babies to wake up. I make fish sticks and mac and cheese. I’m happy to see Jack and Fiona. We play, eat, and get ready for bed. They go to sleep easily tonight. We had a good day. I go upstairs, Alan has brought me fresh spring rolls from Royal Thai. I just have to feed Billy and I can relax. It’s Walking Dead night. Yea!

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