Coffee, coffee, all night I dreamt of finding a cup of coffee. I was on Long Island, N.Y. with a bunch of people. I don’t know who they were. We were at a restaurant. I saw signs for coffee, but I couldn’t find any. I looked at the clock and it was after noon. I realized it was getting too late to drink coffee. We were driving around and the last thing I said was I always get lost on Long Island. Maybe I was thinking of my grandparents during Rosh Hashanah. They always celebrated the Jewish holidays and observed Shabbat. I do not practice any religion and consider myself an atheist, but I always loved going to the Synagogue with my grandparents. I also loved living on Long Island, in Sea Cliff. It was a cool place to be in the summers as a kid, waking up early and walking down to the beach to watch the brown horseshoe crabs move across the sand during low tide.

That freedom to walk and imagine and be free. Early morning, the taste of salt on my face. The last time I was at the Sea cliff beach was after my grandpa died. It was a sad day and the first time I saw my dad cry. I’ve been thinking about my grandma a lot lately. One of Fiona’s favorite books is “A Picture Book of Helen Keller” by David A. Adler illustrated by John & Alexandra Wallner.

It’s been a favorite of hers for a few years. But recently she’s had me read it over and over again. My great grandma was blind. My grandma volunteered at a center for the blind. I would go with her. I remember rows of tables with blind people making dolls. I remember being amazed and I couldn’t understand how they did it. I would go from table to table talking and watching as they thread needles and sewed beautiful dolls.  On our way my grandma would pick up and drop off people, my grandma always had a van. She would also take me with her to drop off food at people’s houses. I need tell Fiona these stories. My grandma influenced me a lot. She always volunteered, with helping people and animals. She was part of the North Shore Animal League, she always had multiple rescue cats. My grandma was also an avid crafts person, she always had wooden clothespins, pieces of fabric, glue, wallpaper samples, everything. I would sit and make crafts for hours. My mom was a single working parent, my grandma was a stay at home parent, although she did have her teaching credential and taught school, but I think that was before any of her children were born.

I am inspired again to get my special education teaching credential. I’ve always wanted to get it and become a teacher. I’m always torn because I also want to focus on making art and writing in my time away from parenting. But I’ve always wanted to be a teacher.