Category: anxiety attack

Yesterday I got a shot of fresh depression. I was tired in the morning, but I went to yoga after drop off, and felt like I could have a productive, healthy day. I decided to print out all the e-mails I’ve sent the school District. I am starting my IEP file for Fiona. When I […]

Saturday Night I said to Jack, “I’m hungry, I don’t know what to eat” “Make vegetable stew” Jack replied. His little body stood in the kitchen with me, his bright eyes melted my heart, as my son suggested a heart healthy meal, I should make for myself. “That’s a great idea Jack!” I said. I […]

February Why do you do this to me February? Only two days in, wind howls, grey clouds move across sky, across body. Heart beats, tightness, no sleep. Rain drops at 3:00AM, I want to love the sound, but I need the rest. Can’t shake death. February, why are you so addicted to death? You won’t […]

I have one painting I really like today. It’s called “Referee for my mind”. The creation of the painting hasn’t  started refereeing my mind yet. I’m still falling down the rabbit hole or in the mouse trap. I got many things done, remembered to do many things, then at 1:00PM I came to my studio. […]

“Mom, do these break?” Jack asks. “Yes, everything breaks” I say. “Is this delicate? How can this break?” Fiona asks. “If you hit it with a hammer, or if I run over it with my car it will break” I say. I tried to put only non-breakable ornaments on the tree. That’s what I told […]

The air quality is good today. The sky, blue. I had the blues this morning. I’ve had the blues for many months, I haven’t written since October. As I walked above Boyd Park, in the open space that has been closed since the Camp fire, I cried as I decided to put everything that is […]