This is the deal, right here. Black and white, legs stretched out wide, she’s a beautiful dog. Content because I took her for a walk. Making GREAT headway on my book, Nap Time Paintings. In fact, I have learned more the way that things have gone than if they had gone how I imagined they would. I figured I was paying the publishing company to layout my writings and illustrations beautifully. Tt would look fantastic. I found out, Artistically I am required to make all the decisions if I want it to look good, how I imagine it looking. Mind Blowing. You learn something new every day. I want to paint now. I have an hour. I also want to take my paintings to the frame shop. My new Book, School Time Paintings By Jenny Hynes. Catch ya on the rebound.
Category: being a mom and an artist
-
I was so glad when I looked at the clock and it was 5:18 am, I thought for sure it was going to say 3am or 4am. I got 6 hours of sleep, not ideal but not horrible. I’ve been in a state of mania; my studio is covered from wall to wall with work in progress, I can’t stop painting. I have moments of panic about how much money I’ve spent on publishing my book, Nap Time Paintings; Motherhood through the Eyes of an Artist. My savings is gone and I still need to frame works for my show. But the biggest driver in my mania is to make. I have this idea in my mind of what I want my paintings to be, particularly my grouping. I keep going too far on 90% of them. I pass through the sweet spots. I should leave them I say to myself. But then I push the envelope one more time. Adding detail, taking away detail, adding more color, lessening color. Obsession.
My coffee is too weak, I wish it were stronger. I don’t have any more beans ground, everyone is sleeping in my house. I don’t want to wake them. They all need the rest. Yesterday I took Jack and Fiona to Oakland, we met up with their uncle Danny. We went to coffee, scootered around Lake Merritt to Fairy Land (a theme park where everything is based off fairytales and perfectly sized for three-and-a-half-year old’s.) Then we went to visit the Fourth Wall Gallery. The babies were so tired, I brought them into the Gallery complex barefoot. The floor was filthy, their feet dark hands getting there as they pulled each other on their backs down the long hallway. “Handprints” echoed from inside another gallery. It wasn’t long before we got kicked out. A note on my dash, “Ticket or Tow?”. I parked in front of a garage of a business that wasn’t open. Busted all the way around. Jack and Fiona fell asleep the moment I dropped off Danny and got on the freeway.
I gave Jack and Fiona baths and we hung out in their room for a while. Jack went upstairs to raid the cereal boxes and play. Fiona and I played with stuffies, then colored. Then I said, “I’ll be right back”. I went to my studio to check my paintings from the night before. I had to do one thing, then another. Fiona comes in and wants to paint. Jack comes down and wants to ride his scooter, I open the garage and move my car down the driveway so there’s more room to ride. I paint, Fiona starts painting, then goes and scooters with Jack. I paint. I can hear them playing and check on them every few minutes. Fiona’s back in painting with me, Jack spends time alone in the garage practicing his bunny hops on his scooter before going back upstairs. I start going crazy painting, experimenting, getting ideas. Fiona works too. I’m a mess, my studio is a mess. There’s so much work in progress I can’t even walk. Fiona’s area is just as bad. I’ve corrupted her. She works on several pieces at a time and is just as messy with her paint as I am. I tell her I’m crazy several times during our painting sessions.
As Nap Time paintings have ended, since there’s no naptimes, a new time slot has opened, having the babies near my studio riding scooters in the driveway or in my studio creating. It’s more hectic than my Nap Time slot, but it’s still time to create. I think I will go to my studio now, until Jack and Fiona wake up.
-
“it’s not healthy to keep eating a whole bunch” I say to Jack. He wants another Klondike cookie sandwich ice cream. They are good. I could eat another one too. It’s hot today. Very Hot! But it’s also National Beer day, I’m drinking a Lagunitas IPA. I had a good day in the studio. Painted like crazy, feel a bit crazy, like manic. Maybe it’s the time of year. The most remarkable things happen on late fall nights. Under a clear sky, stars in view. Inspired by the grey squirrel, jumps from one trunk to another. “Hello squirrel, what are you doing?” I ask. He doesn’t tell me, he keeps going up higher and higher into the trees. I go to my studio, hot from my hike. I stink. I start to paint. I get paint on my good yoga clothes. I am disgusting. I take a shower. Feel better. Paint more. Paint stains on my arm. My hands disgusting. I am disgusting and wonderful. My daughter draws beside me. “Color, color, color color” she says, over and over as she scribbles with a pen. “This is all the water” she says. “with a butt. With a vagina.” A cup of beer and dirty hands. I’m so glad Hugh Hefner is dead. Someone wrote “good bye to the father of Patriarchy” on Facebook. An article said he changed the way we think about sex. When I think of the porn industry and the primping and prepping and sculpting of women. Making us think we need to perform in a certain sexual way, look a certain way, think a certain way, I say Fuck You Hugh Hefner. I thought about how I got mad at a male painter. In his catalogue he talked about his work and how he went to the rain forest for years working on these wonderful paintings and notebooks. He had kids. I wondered how he did it. They stayed home with their mother. I was mad. I said it’s not fair. Then I had kids. I kept working, I kept studio hours. I created. Now I have a book about to be published and an art show coming up at a fine Gallery. I have a vagina and boobs and wrinkles and a crazy old mind. But I keep on working.
Dirty Laundry Blog by Jennifer Hynes 