Category: Difficult times

Marinate; children, stew, wood, paintings, art, books, words, wardrobes, faces, nature, workouts, experience. The sweet spring birds are singing a song outside. I questioned the use of adjectives in my sign language class last night, I talked about verbs with Jack and Fiona yesterday, too. I fought with my feelings of the word hate. I […]

“Are you giving me a ticket?” I ask the parking ticket lady, I can see it’s too late for her to not give me a ticket, she’s already punching in all the info. “You can wait in the car” she says. I get in my car, engine running, hazards on, Fiona in her car seat, […]

Everything I’ve done up until now has been about pregnancy: wanted and unwanted. It’s been about deep, dark, secrets. The kind in my dreams: I’m climbing up a dirt tunnel, fingers clutching to the sides, dirt crumbling, roots exposed, there’s blue sky above, I can breath but feel the cold at my feet, my face is […]

I’m having anxiety lately. It’s hard to just sit here and not worry. Are other people feeling this way too? I am worried about the people getting hammered by hurricane season. I am worried about the Trump administration. The horrible things I worried about when president Trump became the Republican nominee are coming true. The […]

How to build up your immunity when you’re an older mom with multiple young children   #1. Take baths, or meditate, or drink a cup of tea or coffee alone. The point is to be alone and chill. I know it’s hard, to find the time, to get away from the kids, to let go […]

You will survive the doctor says. I sit on the edge of the exam table on a Saturday afternoon. I can’t believe I got an appointment. Just drop me off, I tell Alan. Take the kids to the park. I’ll figure out what to do after. I’m sick again, or having a relapse, maybe rheumatic […]

  My studio is a mess. The whole thing. Paint brushes hard, palette knives covered in dry paint. Works I work and work and work over. Mud and ambiguity. All over the place. Sadness in my heart. The circle of life, the we are who we are fact of it all. The THIS IS WHAT […]