motherhood – Dirty Laundry Blog by Jennifer Hynes

Three Years Later……….

July 17th, 2023

Outside:

Clusters of white, dirty, dry, petal soft standing as tall as my waist, hot sun shining down, breeze blows, oak trees rustle, figs in green scatter branches covered by large leaves, under which I get reprieve from the middle of July, early afternoon.

Inside:

Daughter sleeping, surgery tomorrow for second cochlear implant. Son playing video games. Fan on, curtains closed.

Studio:

Felt great exhilaration. Black, white, water, sumi brush, 20 minutes.

Mind:

As I move further away from the depths of my credential program my mind starts to sparkle with creativity.

I will not start my master’s in education or my DHH program anytime soon! I am going to enjoy my three credentials for the foreseeable future, that way I can get back in my studio making art and writing, as well as gain experience working in the field. (Which I LOVE)

Love my job as a Special Education teacher. Love it so much. I have been running an Art Club at my school during lunch, so I still have a connection to teaching art!

Mind:

That just reminded me I want to also get my STEAM certificate to run an afterschool STEAM program.

I can’t stop my mind! Want to learn so much and teach so many things! At least they all go together.

To recap, since I last wrote I had just finished my CSET in ART. Then I took my CSET in multiple subjects.

For the last three years I have been going to Sonoma State University getting my teaching credentials,

-Single Subject Art Credential

-Mild/Mod Special Education

-Extensive support needs Special Education.

I GRADUATE in December with all three!!! (I graduated last year with my Single Subject Art Credential!)

It has been the BEST credential program ever! It was really hard to go to school fulltime, work full time as a Resource Teacher Intern, and take care of my family! No time for writing anything other than research papers and lesson plans! No time for painting in my studio. But I got through it and I am so glad I followed my heart! I love my jobs as a teacher in Special Ed and Art.

Psychic energy and semantics

May 13th, 2021

https://psychology.wikia.org/wiki/Psychic_energy Psychic energy

My bath water is warm, feet stick out from bubbles at the end my claw foot tub, oh I feel so guilty. It’s a drought, do I feel guilty? Or entitled to this experience?

Self care is expensive. In every which way. I’m sorry drought and earth. I’s sorry people who are suffering and dying. I tried to not watch or pay attention for three days, maybe four.

I wanted to do more. I want to do more. I’m studying the CSEt and staying true to my core.

Triggers all around. My back is sore. Am I tired? Depressed? Sick? Or?

Someone said something, the semantics were a bore.

But the words that were said meant something more.

I can’t help it if the psychic energy I encounter causes this reaction. But maybe I’m all the wiser because I can see this as real. I’m tired. I’m sore. I’m taking a bath during the worst drought since 1976 in the name of self-care.

My red nail polish is chipped. My feet need tending. Bills pile up, checks need to be sent. But my eyes sting and hurt. I felt my cheek begin to twitch. I go through the reasons:

1. Fatigue

2. Tragedy in our world

3. Something someone close to me said. A hostile body language and tone in voice.

4. A natural cycle of depression and anxiety

5. Not eating heathy enough

6. Exercising too much

7. Not stretching enough

8. Not meditating enough

9. Letting myself read the news

10. Self-care overindulgence

11. First world problems

12. This is where I shift into breath. What’s happening right now in this moment?

– bubbles popping

– water dripping

– sky blue, wind blowing, freeway humming, bones cracking, mind calming, breath slowing.

Mothers Day 2021

May 9th, 2021

Birds are chirping, sun shines, blue skies today. I sit in peace this beautiful Mothers Day. I remember so many years in a row of sadness and despair. Fear of dying young like my mom did. Sadness she was gone. Worry about my high cholesterol and my older self as I raised young babies.

Today, for some reason those thoughts and fears have dissolved. I feel relaxed and content. It’s been 13 years since I lost my mom. I miss her so much and wish she could have met her grandchildren. I owe her everything in the making of the person I am today.

I am thankful on this Mother’s Day for my beautiful life in this beautiful city of San Rafael. Surrounded by a wonderful community. I am thankful for my friends virtual and in person! I am thankful for my studio filled with paints and paper. I am thankful for the trail I plan to walk up this morning!

Love to all Mothers out there on Earth and beyond. Love to our only Mother Earth may we protect you and keep you strong.

Tag: motherhood

Three Years Later……….

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Psychic energy and semantics

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Mothers Day 2021

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