Our night lasted until 8:30, at which time we asked Gordon, the bartender at the Silver Peso to call us a cab. “Forty somethings like you, no offense, want a flat yard.” Says the real estate agent sitting next to us at the bar. Why would I take offense at being called forty something? I’m thinking. I am forty something. Should I be offended at myself? Before we started talking to our neighbors Alan and I were having a great time people watching. We get to the bar after leaving the restaurant and taking a stroll around the town. I feel like I’ve never been to a bar before. I order a vodka with grapefruit. I only had one delicious cocktail at Picco because I can’t drink a lot and I really wanted to get a drink after. I take a sip, it’s a one drink kind of bar. It tastes like pure vodka. There is a drunk woman next to us yelling at a guy, “You don’t even know how to order a beer in French and you studied French, I studied Spanish and I know how to order a Cerveza.” He’s gets very quiet. She gets upset, stands up and walks to the other side of the bar to talk to some other guy. Alan said she is the bar slut. I said “How do you know?” He said “Will ya look at the head on her.” It was entertaining for a minute. Then the scene seemed depressing. I twiddle my fingers until our cab comes. The babies were sound asleep when we got in. It was the latest we’ve been out since they were born. I wanted to see them so bad! I go in the nursery this morning, both babies are awake. I take them up and give them a big hug. I take off their pajamas and dirty diapers. Jack starts running around banging cabinets and drawers and peeing on the floor multiple times. I clean up the pee and dress both babies in outfits for the day, our Sunday trip to the beach. “Berries, Berries, they love to eat their Berries.” I sing over and over again. Sunday morning. Coffee, bottles, banana. Alan’s making eggs, bacon, sausage, and mushrooms. I take care of Jack and Fiona and type a few words, between questions, “What time did they get you up this morning?” Alan asks. Or between reading The Little Blue Truck. I Put the babies down to play, sweep up the cheerios, strawberries. Butter our toast. “Do you want to start serving out the plates?” Alan asks, “But your bagels not ready yet.” I say. “MMMMM” thanks honey, “Good breakfast.” I hear gentle little pre-words Jack and Fiona make in the play room while I eat my breakfast, drink coffee and write. Alan sits at the Island drinking his tea, eating his breakfast and looking at news on his iPhone. Perfection.
Tag: twins
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Brutal. Remedies not working for ailments. Bad period. Morning is here. I’m 44. Why do I still have cramps? Turn on the kettle. I need to go downstairs and get babies. So glad I dressed Jack and Fiona in pajamas without feet on them last night. All I have to do is change their diapers and bring them up stairs. Make my coffee, make some toast. Bottles made. Feed babies. Have breakfast and write. Need to take Billy for a walk today. Feel like going to see Wild Tales again. Bleeding too heavy to go for a long hike or yoga. Feeling sore and tired. Cramps. Going to get babies now. Put on toast. Babies squawking. Don’t listen to them any more while they whine. Block it out. Babies twist and turn as I change their diapers. We have our bottles, toast, coffee, bananas and cheerios. I’m excited to put on Fiona’s hearing aids for the first time in a week. Babies want to go play. I was just about to write how sweet they were being right now, they were so quiet so I peered out into the play area to see what they were doing. Jacks looking at a book, Fiona’s, “SHIT”, Fiona’s got a bottle of milk, the one I couldn’t find last night. It’s upside down spilling all over the place. Jack runs over and takes the bottle and starts drinking. YUCKY old milk. Jack has a poop, I take him to change his diaper. I hit his head on the side of the changing table. His face turns red, the deep inhale, he cries, I hold him and walk back and forth, putting extra entertainment in it. “I’m so sorry Jack, are you OK? I’m so sorry.” Is it almost nap time?
“OK, let’s make the bottles, go downstairs and call it a day. I don’t care what time you guys wake up in the morning. I just need a break”. Today was difficult. I’m bleeding, I got cramps, a raging head ache and no remedies. Vicodin should definitely be given to me for this time of the month. I can’t ask my doctor. He’ll think I’m a druggy. It’s my birthday. We have a roughish morning. I wanna have a special birthday with the babies. Babies won’t take their nap. We manage to get out of the house by 10:30 and arrive at the discovery by 11:00. Who cares what my doctor thinks, I should just ask anyhow. It’s the first time I’ve brought Jack and Fiona to the discovery museum since they can walk. I stayed away for the past two months because of all the flu’s and measles going around. I cancel my birthday lunch, I feel like there’s not enough time, it’s too much work making plans and coordinating with other people. (Moms lie so much. All I ever heard from moms when I told them I was having twins was “you’re so lucky, it’s so much easier with two. At first it’s harder but when they get a little bigger they can play together.” LIES, it’s ALWAYS going to be harder with twins) Instead of carrying each one into the Tot spot, plunking them down, running out to get the other one, I take Fiona out, set her on the ground feet first. She stays close holding the stroller while I take out Jack. He takes off. It’s exhausting already. I get both babies inside, there are lots of people here today. Jack and Fiona take it all in, they watch the kids running around. I’m getting annoyed. A nanny is trying to talk to me, “I’m definitely not going to be in this line of work when I’m 50.” She says. “It’s too exhausting.” (She’s watching one baby.) I’m too distracted trying to keep an eye on Jack and Fiona. I’m annoyed by the nannies on their cell phones, what are they getting paid for? I’m annoyed by all the parents and nannies who bring their purses in the play areas and leave them on the floor. Jack and Fiona want to get into all their stuff and take their water bottles. It’s just one more stressor for me. (Which today there are many) I don’t know what these people have in their bag, I’m thinking the babies are gonna take something out they can choke on. We go outside to Tot Spot adventure play area. It’s really cool with a tunnel, things to climb on, acorns, a puppet stage, and only one other person. We feel better out here, we’re nature people. We feel most comfortable around trees, the ocean, sand, grass, flowers and as few people as possible. I saw a great friend today. I was about to go home. Then I saw a text from one of my best friends who I haven’t seen in a long time. She is on her way to meet me for lunch. What a surprise! I still have time to have lunch. I feel so lucky, I am so happy to see Robin, the babies love her. I’ve missed her so much. I love her, she’s such a good friend. I down my Moscow Mule and Truffle fries while the babies eat pieces of grilled cheese, berries and fries. Half their food falls on the floor. I pick up as much as I can and leave an extra ten bucks for the bus boy. This lunch really made my birthday. The babies were fun at lunch too. It’s like being at a table filled with rowdy drunk people when you’re with your one year olds in a restaurant. Except everyone thinks they’re cute. People used to ask our table to “Please keep it down.” Now Jack can scream super loud and Fiona can throw stuff all over the floor and no one bats in eye. Maybe if I got drunk and acted crazy too we’d have a problem. Don’t worry if I ever do that I’ll call for back up. (Just kidding, I would never do such a thing.)
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“We’re going to the beach! We’re going to the beach! We’re going to the beach!” I sing to Jack and Fiona. I’m jumping up and down. They smile sitting in their high chairs eating waffles and strawberries. I am making stuff for our picnic, quesadillas, cutting up more strawberries, making a nice salad, 2 bottles of milk, and I’m bringing a beer. Billy is looking through the back door, dogs aren’t allowed on this trail, I feel really guilty. I want to check out this hike though. Sorry Billy. Sunscreen, hats, extra clothes, diapers, wipes, teething biscuits, water, beach blanket, shoes, I think we’re ready to go. We are listening to the Sirius reggae station, sun roof open, I’m feeling excited. I’m feeling the same excitement I felt before Jack and Fiona, when I would take my hikes and beach trips with Billy and Zappa. The drive is short, no traffic. We turn down Tennessee Valley road, I lower all the windows, turn off the radio. I’ve never drove down this road before, dogs aren’t allowed on these trails. The only time I was at Tennessee Beach was the time I took my mom and brother on a hike. We started at the Miwok trail by Fort Cronkite. Instead of just following the regular route I took them on an adventure, we scurried down a really steep hillside to get to the beach. Then we had to walk super far to get back. I think they wanted to kill me! My mom and I got really bad poison oak too. The parking lot for the Tennessee Valley trail head is by Miwok stables. I got the babies into the B.O.B. stroller, loaded as much as I could into the underneath storage and showed Jack and Fiona the horses. I say “Neigh” like I do when I read their stories. “That’s a horsey, a beautiful horsey.” I’m not sure they are making the connection. We start down the trail to the beach, it’s almost 2 miles. My friend who has one baby told me it was easy. Maybe with one but with the double B.O.B., 50 lbs of baby, my back pack, I think it’s challenging. It’s definitely a work out. It’s mostly downhill to the beach, there’s a nice breeze, the tree’s move, total peace. We say our hellos to people walking back up from the beach, a lady with a baby asks, “Are those twins?” I say “Yes” She says “I’m a twin, I really want twins. Do twins run in your family?” I say “My husband’s mom had two sets of twins.” We have this conversation a lot when we’re out and about. We get closer to the beach, the babies drink their bottles on the way. I smell the ocean, I am so happy. This is our first trip alone to the beach. All the years I was trying to get pregnant, each month when I was hoping, when there was still hope, I thought to myself I’m going to take my baby to the beach all the time. With twins it’s not possible, the stroller is impossible to roll on thick sand. I am fearing that this will be the case when we get to the beach but I have lots of ideas of how to make it work. I can take one baby at a time super-fast down to the beach, or we can walk back to a picnic spot, we’ve passed several nice ones along the way. But my heart is set on sitting in front of those waves, listening to them crash, sharing my love for the ocean with Jack and Fiona. We get to the sand, it’s not that bad, I employ my upper body strength and get us to a great spot on the beach. I lay out the blanket, sit Jack and Fiona down on the edge, put on their hats and take a picture. They pull off their hats, they put sand, which at this beach is rocks in their mouth. “Don’t take off your hat! Don’t put that in your mouth! What’s in your mouth? You can choke, that’s a big rock!!” Plan B is to slather sunscreen all over their heads, I try to get their faces covered as much as possible and keep putting their hats back on. It’s the best I can do. I think it will be O.K. We eat our picnic, I drink my beer, it’s really hot out. I worry a bit about sun stroke but again, I know it will be O.K. Jack runs so much on the beach, he comes back to the blanket and lays down. So precious. I change diapers, put the babies in short sleeve onesies and into their stroller. They are tired. I pack up and head out, looking back every few minutes at the coast. I turn the stroller around and tell Jack and Fiona to wave goodbye to the beautiful ocean. Ten minutes into the hike back the babies are asleep. There’s a sweet little picnic site near the parking lot I sit and eat my salad with my fingers because I forgot a fork. At first it feels weird but I start grabbing the lettuce, beets, cucumbers, and putting it in my mouth. I mix the dressing perfectly. It’s amazing. My hand is all dirty. First Jack wakes up, he watches me eating like him. I finish and pick him up. He smiles, we’re under a huge tree, green grass is all around us and Jack wants to explore again. Fiona wakes up next, There’s a black bird on the ground next to her. I pick Fiona up, put her on the ground to explore. I wish we could stay longer but I have no more food or bottles. “I’m gonna take you guys home now for chicken soup.” I say. What a great day we had.
Dirty Laundry Blog by Jennifer Hynes 