Jacks sick. He’s not feeling good at all. It’s so sad, listening to his congested chest, his crying, his misery. I would hold him forever in my arms if I could. But Fiona’s awake and feeling good. She wants my attention too. The only solution is to put them both in their play and packs in separate rooms, hope that Fiona enjoys some quiet time, hope that Jack gets some rest. I find myself in some kind of in between area, like I’m on guard. Yesterday when we got home from Early Start I had studio time. I worked on some mixed media pieces, with the press and paint. I had a good session and was pleased with my work. Today I went to yoga and hung out with a good friend. It was awesome, I had so much fun. Heather called me right when I sat down with my friend for lunch, she said Jack was really sick. I decided to have my lunch before heading back home. I needed the break. I’m on standby for Jack and Fiona. We can’t do anything but ride out this bug. That makes me very tired. I just went to check on them and Jack is asleep again and Fiona is awake, but she looks really cute playing with her Tiger and Doggy. My Yoga teacher said something today about taking child’s pose and that sometimes it’s the most intelligent thing to do. Taking a break. Resting.
Yesterday was Fiona’s first day of summer school at Early Start. It’s a great place but I always feel so overwhelmed and drained when I leave. At Early Start the babies are taught to sit and be quiet during song time. It wasn’t easy for me to do. I took Fiona out of the high chair and held her. Heather held jack. They were also having a hard time sitting still and being quiet. Linda said they can learn this skill, even this young. At Early Start I sometimes feel like I’m a three year old. The things I need to work on, like my loud voice, my high pitched laughing, and my repeating saying things when I’m talking to the babies, like “Do you want a berry? Want a berry?” It’s hard because I have to change things that are me, but they aren’t good for Fiona learning language. It’s exhausting. It’s all so tiring. Jack woke up, I held him for a while, feels like he has a fever. Fiona needs me too. She needs dinner and a bath. I don’t know what I’ll do. I put jack back in his play and pack, he’s so tired. I’m worried. I tried putting a cold cloth on his forehead but he didn’t like it. I hate when they’re really sick.