Quiet Wednesday morning. Foggy outside. I breathe a sigh of relief. I have twenty minutes until Jack and Fiona start waking up. My breakfast consumed, my coffee drunk, time to sit and write. Time to relax and prepare for my day. Time for me. Today is a studio day. I am looking forward to it. As I just went to that thought I stood still for a moment, my mind started to race, a conflict arose in my thoughts, “I can just paint and work on my projects” then “No, I need to organize my work, my studio” Paralyzing. What is the solution I wonder? Split my time in half? We’ll see. It’s another case of single-mindedness vs. multitasking. I’m good at multitasking but I’m not really a multitasker. My mind gets boggled and I go into fight or flight mode. I’m better suited doing one thing at a time, focusing on one idea. I’ve been doing this with the babies a lot. When I’m spending time with them, that’s all I do, read them books, sing goodnight songs, eat dinner. I am getting good at being fully present, no preoccupation. It’s been great. I think it is very important at this stage because the babies are going through rapprochement, a developmental stage between 15 and 24 months where the child moves away from the parent but then comes back. It’s the time when they are learning they are no longer connected to their mother, that they are an individual. When they come back for reassurance I find it’s very important to really be there, to give them my full attention, my full support. I noticed when I try to just give a quick hug or am too busy to sit down on the floor with them when they go through these little tantrums things just deteriorate. But if I get in there and am totally available the tantrum stops and they are off playing nicely again. They just need that little bit of extra support to feel confident. I’ve also become an expert in not being a permissive parent, meaning I’ve learned that at night when I make dinner Jack and Fiona are expected to eat it, if they don’t want it, they start playing with their food, I put them down and if they go to bed hungry so be it. I used to worry so much, bring snacks down to the nursery, but I realized I was sabotaging myself and the babies. Eventually they will learn that they need to eat at dinner time. I also have learned that there are times when they are going to tantrum no matter what, for example when putting on clothes, sometimes they get really fussy. I tried the choice system, but sometimes there’s no time for that and I just say sorry, time to get dressed and let them fuss as I put on their clothes. There is definitely an art to parenting sanely! Speaking of which the babies are starting to wake now! Time to present myself.
Month: January 2016
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As I’ve begun re-studying the Dada artists in my old college text books, I am struck again by the lack of female artists represented. The original Dada artists were very male heavy, and “The most enigmatic Dada intellectual and a primary innovator was Marcel Duchamp” (Modern Art, Hunter Jacobson, third edition) “Duchamp became a pioneer spirit of Dada, even though he never officially declared himself a Dadaist.” Duchamp was interested in the “ready-made” and a “refusal to make elitist distinctions about the art object” He paved the way for artists to work with found art, recycled art, using basically anything for art, or the idea anything is art. Duchamp was rebelling against the traditional paintings of the times. “The challenges posed by his art were evident as early as 1912 when he showed his cubist, mechanist anatomies in Nude Descending Staircase. This original and rather baffling picture outraged the orthodox Parisian Cubists, including the artists brother Jacques Villon, as much as it scandalized American audiences in New York a year later in the celebrated Armory Show.” It’s hard to imagine a time when a painting could outrage people, especially in New York City. But it did, and I think it’s important to both learn about the time the Dada artists were working in, put it in context, as well as the art they created. Then compare it to the cultural and political environment we are working in today. By the way “a high proportion of the artists in the armory show were women, many of whom have since been neglected” (Wikipedia) It would be easy to imagine all the women of the time were at home baking and changing diapers. But many were making art as well. One of the most sited woman Dada artist is Hannah Hoch, a German artist who was more concerned with politics, “shaped by the sense of disillusionment of the desperately harsh postwar years” When I read this I realized something else, the Dada movement was very diverse. Some parts of the world had been affected much worse by World War 1 than others. The artists in the worst war ravished places tended to use trash and garbage they found in the streets for collage and sculpture. The materials were inherently symbolic, containing history and the present state of things, desperate. It’s interesting because the frags, and discards I am using and have used with other GAP members are our own things, imbedded with memory from our own hands, stains, drawing, ripped up, tore up, then passed around. When I’m working in my own studio everything has to be altered before it feels right, a mark, an accident, something to wake the paper up.
Why not sneeze ,Rose Selvay?
Cut With the Kitchen Knife
Another huge difference between artists working now and then is our ability to communicate super-fast. What was it like to live in that time with no internet? People relied on radio to get their information and papers. It took time, everything that happens now people know about within seconds in many cases, things that happen far away. Our phones beep, our computers light up. How does this affect our art practice? Compared to when the Dadaists were working. It’s the 100 Anniversary of the Dada Arts Movement. One hundred years. That’s crazy. The other day a conversation was started on Facebook, I’m being vague on the details on purpose, but it was a conversation about who’s really Dada, who’s not dada enough. Not exactly, but that kind of idea. Gap, who is participating in the SFIAF 100 Year Anniversary Dada show, have never claimed to be Dada artists. We are doing our own thing, we work on our own work, we work collaboratively, and we are all drawn to a certain ascetic. We would never want to copy what the Dada artists did, regurgitate. We are attempting to answer questions presented by the curators of the show. I will write them again, and maybe in every paper I write up until the show:
(Hopefully we can answer them by the show) BUT MAYBE THE ANSWERS AREN’T IMPORTANT
“These are the challenges put forth to contemporary practitioners of Dada:
Can art successfully challenge a fixed mindset?
Is a dialogue generated by provocative art possible and can it lead to change, co-existence, tolerance, and cooperation?
Can art INSPIRED by Dadaism be important or relevant today?
OR IS IT SOMETHING THAT WAS OF IT’S TIME?”
Very exciting stuff!!
It’s 2:45 PM Tuesday afternoon, the babies are taking their naps, but will probably be up soon. The sky is turning blue after a morning of torrential downfall! I would love to go to my studio and work, work on exploring the questions. It’s always about questions. The answers aren’t important, are they? But the process searching for the answers, now that’s the money ticket. To keep that passion alive. To not give up, and to the question:
“Is a dialogue generated by provocative art possible and can it lead to change, co-existence, tolerance, and cooperation?”
To the first part of the question, wow, can there be “provocative art this day and age?”
But the second part of the question, can it lead to change? Just trying to find out could cause change in itself.
Co-existence, tolerance, and cooperation, let’s hope so! Let’s try! It doesn’t matter if we fail, or the answer is no, it’s the journey, to coin a cheesy phrase. Now I’m rambling, gotta get mentally prepared for babies waking up!
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7:19 AM Monday morning, sky clear, pale blue. House still quiet, babies still asleep, on my second cup of coffee. The weekend went by smoothly, yes, it really did, it’s as if again my “intentions” manifested. Was it Thursday I decided I wasn’t going to stress, that it was going to be a good day? Or Friday? Saturday morning I set my intention during Yoga, “To be a good, nice, wife and mom” I did it too, I was on my best behavior. I let things go, the mess, the whining and complaining, I spun it around. Not by being fake, or untrue, by being true, by, as one of my friends commented to me on Facebook, “don’t sweat the small stuff” Thanks Sarah! I’m keeping that in mind! Good advice. If it wasn’t for Facebook where would I be? No, really, It’s amazing how we’ve all come together on Facebook. A lot of people talk shit about FB, say it’s dumb. But I think it’s also smart. Everything is happening in real time, discussions can be started, ideas shared, people from all over the world united, sharing ideas, art! Everyday it’s like going to five different galleries, everyone is finding great art and posting pictures that I can look at, I can share my pictures and writing. Where else could this happen? Thanks Facebook!
Today the internet will be buzzing with thoughts on last nights presidential debate, Clinton, Sanders, and O’Malley. After dinner, after I cleaned up the mess and baked scones and made tea, we all sat down to watch the debate. Alan, Jack, Fiona, and me. I told the babies, “These are your leaders” not they understood me, but I wanted them to possibly absorb something presidential through osmosis! Right before the babies were born I read something about Kennedy, about how his mom had maps and globes of the world laying around. That Kennedy was inspired by this. I would like Jack and Fiona to learn about the world, to be inspired by maps and politics. To be educated and want to help make things better for all people. No more divisions! I like all three candidates very much, I believe they are all good politicians and really want to make things better and all already have, they’ve dedicated their whole lives to working for others. I personally think Hilary would be the best choice, I like Bernie a lot, but he repeated the same thing over and over again, bring down the 1%. Not that I don’t agree with his stance on big business, I do. Only a big pharmaceutical company could turn Marijuana into a coma inducing drug, pure evil. But to attack every single rich person seems silly and unproductive to me. What about the good people who have a lot of money? The ones who donate to organizations that rely on donations? The ones who buy art? We need these people! We need rich people on our side, on the good side. Let them make their money, let them keep money, and let them spend their money! Let’s unite, not divide! That’s my stance. That’s why Hilary is my choice for president of the united states.
Now the babies are awake, they are eating their cheerios, making a mess on the nursery floor while I finish writing this post. They really want to touch the keyboard!
But I keep pushing them away, I can’t hold them back any longer. Jacks touching his but and saying “Owwy” I wonder if he has a poop and it’s stinging because he ate spicy Thai food yesterday? Time to change diapers and get the day started, I can’t hold them off any longer!


