I have never had a pear as delicious as the one I am eating right now. It’s…. I just sat here for seconds, maybe minutes tasting pieces of the pear, trying to….I just did it again, tasted a bunch of pieces trying to decide how to put this taste into words. I’m not even going to try. I would never be able to describe how incredible that pear was. I am glad I had the opportunity to eat it. I am also glad I had the chance to work in my studio today. I also had the most amazing shower because yesterday I went to the Beauty Store downtown, the one that’s going out of business. Everything is on sale. I got some shower Gel and Exfoliator and I feel like a new woman. I also got a new Italian professional blow dryer, my hair has never looked or felt so good. Why hasn’t anyone ever told me I needed a good hair dryer? I’ve been using the cheep ones. I always thought my hair took a long time to dry because its so thick, now I know it was the blow dryers! Crazy! At forty-six years old I just figured that out! As usual my alone time is wrapping up. I wish I had more time, but I do feel satisfied with my day off. I even got a bunch of chores done, laundry, toy purging, (gotta make room for the new toys) I just heard Jack calling “Mommy, Mommy” they just got home from the park. I figured out something else cool last night too. I learned that Jack and Fiona love to play games, not computer games but physical games more than they like T.V. Especially if I play with them. I let them open this chicken game I got them for x-mas last night. You role a dice and whichever number comes up you get to push the chickens chest hoping an egg pops out it’s butt. They saw the commercial for this game on T.V., they would say “Mom, look at this game” when it came on. I had to run over to the T.V. to see it. They like the game as much as the kids in the commercial do. It is a fun preschool age game, and it teaches taking turns and following directions. That lasted five minutes and a couple pieces are already lost. But it was fun quality time we all enjoyed together. I can hear Fiona crying, I wonder what happened. Time to get back on duty.
Category: a new beginning
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Have you ever wondered why you did it? Why you had kids? Why you wanted kids? It’s a trip. Then you walk in your room from the deck. A place to sit and take five. To your children watching Bob the Builder X-Mas, you have the heater on and it’s a cold winter night. Making it nice and cozy in the house. Your daughter is sitting on an arm chair with your pillows wrapped around her saying, “Jack, where am I?” he replies, “I can see you” But he giggles, he’s amused. I say, “Awww, how cute”, and they are, absolutely 100% adorable. But I do have the T.V. on. They are perfect with the T.V. on and when it’s not on, Jack asks me over and over again until I turn it on, which I know is my own doing. I give in 80% of the time these days. He’s so persistent, and I’m so overwhelmed in that sense, the keeping up with highly active twin’s thing. With being the perfect parent. Meaning trying to teach them how to behave. Or how I expect them to behave. Or “Go play with your toys”. It’s just exhausting. I realized I am on Full Time duty at least thirteen hours a day. When I work on my new manuscript, drawing from my time before kids, trying to have kids, I am struck by the amount of free time I had, even when I worked a full-time job because I would always get two full days off a week. All day and night. So, I ask you again, have you ever wondered why you did it? Not that you would change anything about your life at all and love your life and kids!
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I can’t believe I only have maybe twenty minutes left before my morning free time is over. I feel a panic in my chest. I sat outside in the back yard under the sun this morning, alone with the robins. It was so beautiful. It was quiet, only the sounds of the chimes and birds chirping. The wind rustled a bit. Again, I was struck by how peaceful it is to sit alone in quiet. If I ever needed meditation in my routine now is the time. Maybe I should just tell the babies straight up, I need some quiet time when we’re all together. I can’t always answer so many questions, put out so many little arguments between siblings, wipe butts and feed constantly eating kids. They never stop eating or moving their bodies. It’s insane. Or talking. Kids. I’m SURE they are still too young to meditate but can’t they play quietly with their toys? And NOT watch T.V.? Jack wants to watch T.V. constantly. Oh Man. But they’re adorable kids. Last night Fiona said the funniest thing and I can’t remember what it was, but it was super funny. Jack gives me kisses and loves to hang with me in the mornings before school. We go for cool walks. Today we went to the coffee shop and I had an americano and he had a piece of lemon cake. It was fun. Fiona is wearing my bracelets! She is so sweet and creative, funny too. Last night during our bed time routine, Fiona laid her tinys(her little tiger blankies) over the vent as the heat came through. She wanted to make them warm. She lay her cheek over the blankies and stretched her legs out. She is so long, I was almost looking at a little girl, not a baby anymore. We read our books, there was a scene where the main character threw a rock threw at a window and he was put on the Naughty List! I told Jack and Fiona a story about when I was a little kid, maybe 7 or 8. I was playing rocks with some neighbors, two boys. I was with my friend, we were standing outside the chain fence around the yard and the boys were inside the fence by their dads Harley Davidson motorcycle. I hit the speedometer with one of my rocks breaking the glass. I heard their dad yell from inside the house. My friend and I ran as fast as we could, we hid in an old trailer in a field behind our house. We stayed there all day until night. I could here my mom and all the neighbors calling my name, “Jenny”, over and over again. I was so scared. Then I heard my pony neighing, I imagined my neighbors were steeling my pony for breaking the speedometer on the motorcycle. I told my friend and we decided to run back to the house to save Chu Chu. As I told this story to Jack and Fiona last night they were quiet, they looked at me seriously. Fiona said, “I want you to get your pony back” almost crying she was so sad. Then I realized I had to reiterate to Jack that throwing the rocks was bad and I was on the naughty list.
Dirty Laundry Blog by Jennifer Hynes 