Quiet Wednesday morning. Foggy outside. I breathe a sigh of relief. I have twenty minutes until Jack and Fiona start waking up. My breakfast consumed, my coffee drunk, time to sit and write. Time to relax and prepare for my day. Time for me. Today is a studio day. I am looking forward to it. As I just went to that thought I stood still for a moment, my mind started to race, a conflict arose in my thoughts, “I can just paint and work on my projects” then “No, I need to organize my work, my studio” Paralyzing. What is the solution I wonder? Split my time in half? We’ll see. It’s another case of single-mindedness vs. multitasking. I’m good at multitasking but I’m not really a multitasker. My mind gets boggled and I go into fight or flight mode. I’m better suited doing one thing at a time, focusing on one idea. I’ve been doing this with the babies a lot. When I’m spending time with them, that’s all I do, read them books, sing goodnight songs, eat dinner. I am getting good at being fully present, no preoccupation. It’s been great. I think it is very important at this stage because the babies are going through rapprochement, a developmental stage between 15 and 24 months where the child moves away from the parent but then comes back. It’s the time when they are learning they are no longer connected to their mother, that they are an individual. When they come back for reassurance I find it’s very important to really be there, to give them my full attention, my full support. I noticed when I try to just give a quick hug or am too busy to sit down on the floor with them when they go through these little tantrums things just deteriorate. But if I get in there and am totally available the tantrum stops and they are off playing nicely again. They just need that little bit of extra support to feel confident. I’ve also become an expert in not being a permissive parent, meaning I’ve learned that at night when I make dinner Jack and Fiona are expected to eat it, if they don’t want it, they start playing with their food, I put them down and if they go to bed hungry so be it. I used to worry so much, bring snacks down to the nursery, but I realized I was sabotaging myself and the babies. Eventually they will learn that they need to eat at dinner time. I also have learned that there are times when they are going to tantrum no matter what, for example when putting on clothes, sometimes they get really fussy. I tried the choice system, but sometimes there’s no time for that and I just say sorry, time to get dressed and let them fuss as I put on their clothes. There is definitely an art to parenting sanely! Speaking of which the babies are starting to wake now! Time to present myself.
Category: Faze Free
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Oh my gosh, do I need to run at the park now or what? Jack and Fiona love to play in the big kid’s part at the park down the hill. Which by the way, I am really beginning to love it there. We’ve been going almost every morning after breakfast. It’s a great time for me to get in that extra cardio I’ve been wanting to add. I have to run from one end of the playset to the other when jack or Fiona decide to climb up on their own, even though a fall from that would definitely be bad. But they are pretty good at it. Although today Jack went down the BIG twisting slide first, but wouldn’t move from the bottom. I was at the top with Fiona. I had to go down and I kept saying, “Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, move.” But he wouldn’t look at me, he wouldn’t move. He was engrossed watching the other people at the park. A nanny, I should probably start learning their names, asked if I wanted help, she said, “You need help,” at first I couldn’t tell if she was offering or commenting, but I said “Yes, please.” She moved Jack, I let Fiona down the BIG twisting slide, she flew down, turned sideways at the bottom, and landed on the side of her face, wood chips stuck to her cheek and she cried. The dad on the bench said, “Ohhh” shaking his head side to side, the lady gave a look. I’m not sure if she was disgusted by my nonchalant reaction to my daughter falling off the slide I sent her down look or not. But I knew Fiona was fine and would stop crying in one minute, I also know that if they’re gonna climb up things they are not big enough for yet, a couple scary falls won’t do them any harm. They need to learn.
Luck would have it my new Nanny Heather got food poisoning from Taco Bell last night so she couldn’t come to work today. I was impressed at how it didn’t faze me at all. It was a really hard weekend, not very many naps, lots of housework and mom work, I felt I needed a break so bad. I was so tired. But when Heather called in sick I wasn’t worried. It kind of gave me permission to not do very much of anything today. We’ll just chill. The babies are tired too, both babies are taking a nap. I got home from the park, changed their diapers, put them in their cribs, in separate rooms. Fiona went right down. It took Jack about a half hour during which he pooped and I made him a four ounce bottle. But then he went right down. I saw he got a big molar tooth. That’s probably why he’s been so cranky.
It’s a good day in June. It really feels like summer. It’s a beautiful morning, 10:49. The house is quiet. I hear cars, which Jack says, “vroom vroom” when he sees one, chimes, birds, and some type of power tool. I’m wearing shorts and my Peaches t-shirt from New Orleans. There is a cool breeze which causes the blind cords that are a strangulation hazard I haven’t dealt with yet, to sway. It’s a good day.
Dirty Laundry Blog by Jennifer Hynes 