Not easy to keep this up while homeschooling, but possible. The school Day is long. We were on Zoom and doing school work all day. I didn’t have time to eat or take a break. The house is a mess and I haven’t exercised yet.

I didn’t have time to play dolls with Fiona or play with her teddies and tea party or play a board game with the kids yet. I didn’t have time to play soccer or basketball with Jack. I ordered pizza for their lunch and don’t know what I’ll make for dinner. We still have homework to do tonight after I take this break.

Oh and I haven’t had time to do my ASL homework or study, but I did copy Fiona’s interpreter all day at school.

But this project is keeping me grounded. I feel more relaxed since starting. My inner demon is trying to stress me out by putting thoughts in my head about having something “good” at the end of this project to show in the gallery. But my kinder self is keeping me steady, focus on the process, the determination to actually do something in my studio every day.

Since the pandemic began and we’ve been shelter in place I have not worked in here much. I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety. Its been hard until now. Not that’s it easy now but I have an escape. More than I do when doing yoga or meditation. I’m connecting with my old self, my inner self, my non- wife- mother-teacher-cook-cleaner-parent advocate self.

I love the feeling of washing my hands with my old bar of studio soap. With dark cracks and lines. It makes me feel good to smell it. To touch it.