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Dirty Laundry Blog by Jennifer Hynes

  • Acorns are Falling

    August 30th, 2020
    Closed
    Emerge
    Artist Notebook

    The wind blew, sun light shown through the huge Oak. I thought to myself, Halloween will come even with the virus. We touched playground things, the kids climbed and swung. Ours was a group of 7. Earlier, We had lunch together at my house, outside on the deck and a play date. Now we were at the park. Caution tape still blew in the wind.

    After everyone had left the park except me and the kids I was inspired by light and leaves and the metal of the play set. I took pictures and the kids went crazy running and swinging and jumping. I worried about the virus. I told the kids right when we get home wash your hands, I didn’t make the kids wear masks, even though all the other kids outside our group who visited the park that day did have masks, at least around their necks. I guess I need to bring kids masks. It’s hard with Fiona. She can’t understand me or her friends with masks.

    I didn’t and don’t worry about myself anymore. I know I could die if I got the virus. And I would never want me or the kids to pass it along. I do feel it’s almost impossible to guarantee not getting it. Which is a nice feeling because it frees me of extra daily anxiety and fear by just accepting the morbid thought. but adds more risk because I am taking more risks. Maybe it’s worth the risk, Me and the kids feel much better having the social contact.

    Still when I stood at the park right before we left and the caution tape blew in the wind I wondered did we all put each other at risk of spreading the virus? But I also felt we all needed this, everyone that visited the park yesterday. My friend calls it a calculated risk.

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  • And School Begins

    August 27th, 2020

    Quiet fills my home as the children work on their homework. Doing a better job than I imagined they would. It’s early, the first class log in, which I found out yesterday there are currently 5 log in times and after September 14th there will be more added for small group work.

    It’s quite a lot for a six year old. Jack needs constant supervision and reminders to stay on task. He can’t stop moving around. My babysitter was here today. We worked together until my therapy appointment. Which I decided to do in my studio. After my appointment I started paining. I painted all afternoon in between several interruptions from Jack.

    I locked as many doors between him and I. But he managed to get into my studio. I let him paint with me for awhile. How could I turn him away? But after, awhile after I told him to go back upstairs, the babysitter called and said Jack was on the roof, and he wouldn’t come down. I think he has ADHD and Defiant Personality Disorder. And he’s damn smart. I still worry he could become a master criminal. But at the same time he’s so sweet and caring. He loves animals and his sister. He is attached to me at the hip and I can tell how much he loves me. He’s not a sociopath. There have been times when he’s been destructive and it scared me. or when he’s raging and I’m paralyzed. Who knows, I’m not a psychiatrist. I do need to call the behaviorist again and get some advice. I hope my babysitter doesn’t quit!

    I do feel amazing having been able to work in my studio today! I am proud of myself and am confident I can keep this going.

    She emerges then disappears then emerges again

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  • Put a paintbrush in my hand and lock the door

    August 26th, 2020

    Homeschool has started. I missed a few weeks writing. I was busy with educational, advocacy, domestic and medical work. I think I’m getting closer to carving out time on a regular basis to work in my studio and write. I found a part-time babysitter. My previous sitter from when Jack and Fiona were little! She’s amazing and I feel so grateful she didn’t already have another gig!

    Also school so far is going well, their teacher is amazing! The issues I thought I would have had with virtual learning I have not had yet. But we’ve only just began. My kids are trying hard and Jacks learning to control his frustration but not his body! He still can’t stop fidgeting and walking away from the computer. I have to sit and enforce him. And at this moment with the babysitter Jack is screaming at my door because it’s almost time for his Zoom meeting. He wants me to log him in. He wants to go back to the park but it’s technically closed. We went down a few days ago to ride skateboards and bikes on the blacktop but I couldn’t keep them off the closed play structure. Now he asks me every moment “can we go to the park?”

    I need this break!

    Tomorrow I will work in my studio for sure. And everyday that I have a babysitter unless I choose to go for a hike. or take a bath or anything without kids or anyone around me.

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  • A journal: 20 Days during the Pandemic. Getting back in the studio. Daily Writing and Studio Practice September 21st to October 10th 2020.
  • Blog
  • Catitudes
  • Dirty Laundry Blog
  • My Peloton version 2
  • Portfolio
  • Random Tips for twin parents

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