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Dirty Laundry Blog by Jennifer Hynes

  • Why do I care what nannies do at the park while watching other peoples kids?

    April 24th, 2015

    I’m getting so mad. 4:44, I put the babies down for their nap at 3:00. They’ve been whining the whole time. This is one of the hardest situation, the times I really need a break and the babies really need a nap, but it doesn’t happen. We went to a new park today. It was a good one, it even had a big tree giving some shade. There were two nannies, one with a ten month old baby. The other, a young nanny watching two kids.  Theo, a three year old who I coaxed into saying scared over and over because it sounded so cute and his five year old sister, Nia who was the most mature out of all of us. There was one mom of three, her son Jackson is around the same age as Jack and Fiona. She was really cool, but I felt insecure again. She looked so put together and way younger than me. I don’t know why I have that hang up. It’s weird. I just feel so tattered. Immediately aware of my red face from allergies, my wrinkles, and my undone hair. My clothes covered in food and paint. The nannies once again talked to each other in Spanish the whole time.  Theo and Nia seemed desperate to talk and have interaction with me, Jack, and Fiona. I guess the nannies job is just to supervise, make sure no one gets hurt or hurts another child. To feed and take care of all the basic needs. I haven’t seen nannies playing with the kids they watch so far. I’ve seen a lot talking on phones. As I yell “You be careful now” from behind my laptop. Fiona and Jack are playing on the sofa. I’m a firm believer they need to play together without me, of course. Maybe the nannies get crappy pay and feel they do enough work for what they get. I guess it just seems like they aren’t very engaged with the kids they watch. Do they love kids? Do they love their profession? Or is it just a job? And why do I even care?

    jacklaughsatfi

    The picture above shows a funny story. I give jack and Fiona water in their regular cups. Jack drinks out of it, getting most of the water in his mouth. Fiona is usually able to as well. I’m cleaning up from dinner and Fiona starts Bawling! (Oh I realized I’ve spelt bawling wrong in every other post!! I spelt it Balling!) Her face is super red and she even has tears. I give it a minute because I can’t understand why she’s so upset. I see her top is wet, she spilt her water, but big deal. She doesn’t stop crying, so I go over and pick her up. I realize she’s scared. (The way Theo says scared pops in my head) I think the water spilling frightened her and Jack started laughing.

    I’m not sure what’s happening with my dad. I felt so emotionally drained yesterday, so drained I wonder if it’s worth it. Danny is going to send my dad money for the plane tickets. We’ve decided if he squanders the money and doesn’t come then that’s it. We’re done. Clean and simple. If he makes some effort for once in his life we’ll keep him in our lives. My mom would say, “Don’t hold your breath you guys.”

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  • There’s gonna be a whole lotta crazy happenin’ here come July

    April 23rd, 2015

    It’s not fair! My dad will meet his grandchildren and my mom never will. I feel like I’m betraying her. My husband told me yesterday, my dad and Betty can visit us, they can stay at our house before and after the weight loss convention in Sparks. There’s gonna be a whole lotta crazy happenin’ around here. Betty and my dad are hoarders, but that’s a story I’ll let my brother tell. She calls my dad, “Daddy” in her New England accent, which is a pretty cool accent. She’s a tough woman, but sweet, “sneaky though” Alan says. She’s from New Hampshire, a beautiful, rugged, state with harsh winters and a devastated economy. Can I just say that? Or do I need to look up statistics and sight details? (To be safe: stateimpact.npr.org “Talking about New Hampshire’s economy as a whole is tricky business. That’s in part because the states culturally- and often economically- distinguished by its regions.”)  Betty comes from a former paper mill town. There’s really nothing there and tweak has infiltrated, always does in places like this. I was talking to the lady who lives in my dad’s cabin, way up north from Betty’s town. She told me the tweakers have taken over the whole area. I couldn’t believe it. Way up in the mountains, by rivers and lakes. How could people even get drugs up there? I guess they’re making it. She said they go around and look for cabins no one lives in and steal silver and anything else they can sell.

    My grandpa bought the cabin as a vacation home, a getaway from Long Island. My grandma loved it there. Danny and I went there as kids in the summers. There was a “babbling brook” with a smooth rock slide and swimming hole. Danny and I made boats with clothes pin people to float in the water. My grandma always made pancakes and had fresh New Hampshire maple syrup, that’s what most people probably think about when they think of New Hampshire, the maple syrup. Or maybe blueberries or wild strawberries, there was a meadow on a hill behind the cabin where they grew. The last time we were there my grandma didn’t come, she was too sick. It was just Danny, me and our grandpa. He wanted us to work. I spent more time drinking, dancing at the bar downtown, and making out with Patrick in the mud on the side of the river, the guy who helped my grandpa chop and stack wood for the winter. The creek on the property was almost all dried up and the mosquitos were insane. The work had to be done before they came out in the morning. It had got kinda depressing there. One day Danny and I road our bikes to the Canadian border. We had so much fun and thought it was the coolest thing we’d ever done.

    My Dad lives at the cabin now. The hog weed has taken over, there’s piles of trash and rats. The roof leaks.

    Our grandma and grandpa had stepped in for our dad. They helped my mom out (Sort of) and they made sure to force my dad to write us the occasional letter or give us the occasional phone call. Johnny, the sailor. “He’s a much better sailor than driver.” My god mother Alyce once told me. He can navigate the seas but on land he’s a hoarder and second runner up for a weight loss competition. He should have stayed out to sea, but he squandered away everything. He’s gone through many boats, ones he was going to fix up. I don’t know. Maybe I’m making a mistake letting him into my life like this. What if I can’t get rid of him? My mom always told me, “Don’t trust your dad, he’ll never change.”

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  • A journal: 20 Days during the Pandemic. Getting back in the studio. Daily Writing and Studio Practice September 21st to October 10th 2020.
  • Blog
  • Catitudes
  • Dirty Laundry Blog
  • My Peloton version 2
  • Portfolio
  • Random Tips for twin parents

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