Saturday. Kids and dad out to lunch. Finished cleaning and organizing. Four walls covered with paint marks, paintings, surround me. My studio floor covered with paint, scraps, paint containers, my sink plugged up, yellow, dirty, water sits in it as it slowly drains.
I worked on painting, collage, and drawing on little pieces of watercolor paper. I only have seven days left to work on this project. But I think I’ve broke through any, or most barriers in my mind about getting in my studio everyday.
Through the chaos of homeschooling, motherhood, domesticity and depression, during a pandemic, I’ve found a new place to exist. It’s not where I was a month ago, it’s not where I was in March, it’s a fresh new path of constant possibilities, pandemic or not.
Our Being Human groups new show’s tentative title is “Holding it Together”. This is the show I am working on my project “20 Days in a Pandemic” I am desperately trying to hold it together! I finally figured out the problem with Fiona’s FM system. Two of the FM’s were broken/ not set correctly. But the biggest problem is Fiona’s hearing aid is set so loud that anytime someone unmutes on her Zoom calls it causes horrible static feedback. This means Fiona can’t use the FM anymore on Zoom virtual class. So that’s that. Next week we will try to accommodate Fiona and figure out how she can still participate in her education. She will need to rely on her interpreter.
Last night Fiona couldn’t sleep at all. She said she heard BOOM BOOM In her ear. I think her tinnitus was acting up. Then she was having nightmares. I couldn’t fall back asleep after 2:30am. I am so tired! I am so tired from trying to fix Fiona’s education constantly. It is really hard.
I was able to work in my studio for a short time today. I hope to have more time in there next week, but now with the new situation with Fiona I think I will start to have less time.
Mind fatigue
I was able to sort the laundry and put away all my husbands clothes! And make a good dinner last night!
My piles of laundry still stare at me, actually now it’s one pile, one HUGE pile of clean laundry. I got the pfff last night as my husband searched for clean underwear. My strategy is to first sort the clean clothes, then begin folding, then put away, at least this way I can put my husbands basket of clean clothes right in front of his empty drawers.
Problem solved, for now. I do have dinner stuff, last night my creation of spanish rice, sausage, and broccolini was met with unfriendly eyes. Tonight I will put my best foot forward.
I was able to work in my studio today.
Women’s sewing circleEvery woman’s place
I found a cardboard container of sewing needles. I took the needles out and used the cardboard for collage. The cardboard said women’s sewing circle. I covered it up. I also used my favorite old book pages. I’m out of paint and paintbrushes, mine are all old and gross. I’m using the kids paintbrushes and Elmer’s glue. I plan on buying new art supplies soon for myself.
I feel a bit sad today. Maybe it’s the smokey sky or the fires burning nearby or the red flag warning or the wind storm coming tonight. Maybe its domesticity and my house wife duties, maybe it’s Fiona’s face in my mind, tears in her eyes from more FM problems.
On our end the FM is fixed but during class there’s often extreme static. It’s loud and horrible. Fiona can’t understand what’s being said. tears well up in her eyes and I just want to hug her. She loves school and wants to learn.
Experiences like these make me feel sad and mad again that Fiona’s entire education is based around her hearing. She does have an interpreter and today asked if she could turn off the main class Zoom and have Her interpreter tell her what to do. They got off to a rocky start in Kindergarten but now I think Fiona knows she has to rely on her interpreter even if they don’t have the best relationship.
I can start filling out my application now for Sonoma State Credentialing program. My ASL teacher at Gallaudet said to get a BA in special ed from Sonoma State and an online MA in Deaf Education from Gallaudet. She said many of the special education programs teach outdated information in regards to Deaf education.
Dirty Laundry Blog by Jennifer Hynes 