Sunday morning. Fiona and I spent the morning in the messy studio.
Sunday Mother daughter painting session
We made our worry boxes
Worry boxes drying outside
I prepared several pieces of silk and paper for my new project, I’m thinking “ 20 Days during a pandemic: a parents journey getting back into a daily studio practice” with daily writing, painting, and stitching. Fiona is also participating. I’m not sure about the title yet. My goal is to start tomorrow, Monday September 21st.
I need to clean my studio tomorrow and create a spot for Fiona to work daily. I’m excited! This will be a nice break from all the other stressful things in our lives!
It feels like there are so many major problems right now, the coronavirus everywhere. I’ve come to accept I most likely will become infected sooner or later no matter how isolated I remain and how carefully masked and hand washed I continue to be. Our lives in survival mode on a Zoom check in schedule that stretches from AM to PM daily. I’ve turned off the news I’ve ceased to look up information on the coronavirus. When I watch TV I binge watch a show on Netflix called “locked Up”. I am busy homeschooling, imagine how many of us are?
Fresh caution tape wraps the park. Maybe its for the best to deter our restless hearts and limit our risk to the virus that much more. We are locked up in a prison. The blinds are all down, I’ve rolled yoga mats under doors where I see the light from outside. There is an excessive heat wave and another flex alert. There’s a sky full of smoke that comes in and out of the valley.
We stay indoors away from the heat, the virus, the smoke, insulated and safe in our own prisons.
“Anger is powerless, be courageous instead” was the mantra of my morning meditation. Anger is powerless. We will be courageous and survive this time. We will come out stronger and know what it means to be courageous.
The wind blew, sun light shown through the huge Oak. I thought to myself, Halloween will come even with the virus. We touched playground things, the kids climbed and swung. Ours was a group of 7. Earlier, We had lunch together at my house, outside on the deck and a play date. Now we were at the park. Caution tape still blew in the wind.
After everyone had left the park except me and the kids I was inspired by light and leaves and the metal of the play set. I took pictures and the kids went crazy running and swinging and jumping. I worried about the virus. I told the kids right when we get home wash your hands, I didn’t make the kids wear masks, even though all the other kids outside our group who visited the park that day did have masks, at least around their necks. I guess I need to bring kids masks. It’s hard with Fiona. She can’t understand me or her friends with masks.
I didn’t and don’t worry about myself anymore. I know I could die if I got the virus. And I would never want me or the kids to pass it along. I do feel it’s almost impossible to guarantee not getting it. Which is a nice feeling because it frees me of extra daily anxiety and fear by just accepting the morbid thought. but adds more risk because I am taking more risks. Maybe it’s worth the risk, Me and the kids feel much better having the social contact.
Still when I stood at the park right before we left and the caution tape blew in the wind I wondered did we all put each other at risk of spreading the virus? But I also felt we all needed this, everyone that visited the park yesterday. My friend calls it a calculated risk.
Dirty Laundry Blog by Jennifer Hynes 