“We are not going to open that second bar of chocolate.” I say to Jack and Fiona. “This is our last piece.” We’re about to eat the whole chocolate candy bar Danny brought over on Easter. It has a picture of Jesus on the wrapper with a quote from Acts 2:24 N1V: “But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him.”  I already have my pajamas on, it’s 2:35P.M., just put Jack and Fiona down for their afternoon nap. I started off the day calling my husband at work to tell him, “I’m really bad, I broke down, drank a cup of coffee, got some sunshine, and am watching baby Einstein on demand with Jack.” He laughs and says “Don’t you love it though?” He has another call and has to go. I set my cup of Joe, lukewarm now, on the shelf by the T.V. Jack grabs it fast. Coffee spills all over the carpet. After cleaning this I go back and sit on the couch with my thirteen month old son. We watch a show about hands, legs, backs, yellow, red, black and white. I enjoy this series, there’s things we study in art school.  I imitate what they do on the T.V. show. I have my pen and journal with me, “Jack Look” I trace the shape of my hand. He’s not as interested as I thought he’d be, he only wants to put the cap from my pen in his mouth.  Jack won’t take a nap. Fiona is asleep downstairs in the nursery. Jack is very tired too and he’s starting to get dangerous. I’ve read him Mouse Paint by Ellen Stoll Walsh, (A most amazing book!) taken down most of the baby gates so he has free range to run , run, run, gave him a bottle, still he won’t take a nap. He’s practicing going up and down the couch and it looks like some form of stomping or marching on the ottoman.

Jack finally gets so tired I can put him down and he falls asleep. I hear Fiona on the baby monitor. Both babies sound the same in their babbling, a quiet soft talking, one’s falling asleep, one’s waking up. I think I have time for a quick hot bath. I bring the monitors with me and sit in the bath with a candle lit. Both monitors sound alike, except Jack’s has the sound of whales which makes my bath experience all the more enjoying. The temp says 77 on both. My bath is nice I wish I could take two baths in one day. (But we’re in a drought)  I go to get Fiona, sit her in the high chair and put on the hearing aids. I’m so excited to get alone time with Fiona. “That’s a raspberry, the color is red.” I say. (I learned this on the T.V. show Jack and I watched earlier) I cancel our reservation at Play center. I just know the babies will take their second nap just at the time we need to leave. No spin class for me today.

Shit, Jack is making really loud noises. Please take a nap Jack, oh pretty please. I’d love to have an hour baby free right now. I’d go to my studio and paint. I’m going in and out of feeling like I’m gonna die and I can do this. I made myself a green drink today with my magic bullet. It tasted as good as the $10 ones, it had Kale and Collard greens. Maybe I should have another one, I wonder if that will counter balance the coffee, chocolate, and sunshine? A moment: Jack just wakes up from his nap. (I don’t get any alone time with Fiona.) I think I was talking too loud when playing with Fiona. Jack heard us and let off a big old scream. Fare Thee Well (Dink’s Song) By Oscar Issac and Marcus Munford. (From the Inside Llewyn Davis soundtrack.) Comes on Pandora, I LOVE this song. The babies are running up and down the hallway, going out on the deck in the sun, taking all the books off the shelf, it’s a lovely feeling. They are having a great time, I’m listening to good music watching my babies thrive. Then before too long, “Thump, Cry.” Fiona, “Thump, Cry. “ Jack. One hit’s their head on the baby gate, one falls off the deck furniture. Close the gates, close the deck door, shrink their area in half. Make it so they can’t get hurt. The cycle starts again, hunger, crying, diaper changing, feeding, getting prepped for a nap. They are sound asleep now, its 3:04, time to sneak into the studio! The End