Emotions. Struggle and pain. The baby lives in all of us. How can I navigate the world of disipline with Jack and Fiona when I’m still part baby? I do not like to be reprimanded, I struggle with rules and authority.  That’s all I’m going to say about that right now, I’m in my studio and I want to talk about my process I’ve employed for this current body of work. 

  
My old recycled works on paper have invigorated me and connected me more physically to my work.  I sat on the floor yesterday while the babies took a short one hour nap and started tearing my old work up. At first I thought of stacking, then I decided to soak all the pieces, they broke down, revealing hidden marks and stains. As I search through the pile picking pieces I feel like I’m on a treasure hunt. 

  
Then I let the scraps guide me as I glue them onto the paper, add paint, and line. I’m struggling between wanting to leave things very simple and feeling like I need to add more detail. 

  
I’m loving my notebook project. There I feel I can be super experimental, I don’t have any of the hang up’s about working on a piece. Maybe because it’s a collection of ideas. 

  
I often start to panic when I think about how much work I’ve made and continue to make. It’s kind of overwhelming, and that’s another brillant thing about the notebooks. But where will I put all this stuff? 

Anxiety.