6:22 AM Thursday morning. My arm stings from the steam burn I got while making my coffee half asleep. The house is still quiet, dark. It’s October, the cool air is finally here. 

I was looking through all the pictures I’ve posted on facebook of the babies this past year and a half, they were such cute babies. 

  
Another marker of time, I wish I could go back and hug those little chunky bundles! In five months Jack and Fiona will be two years old. They are in the thick of learning that they are individual people with their own wants and needs. Care needs to be taken when interacting with them, they need to feel they are making the choice! It’s cute and frustrating at the same time. 

I am tired, it’s been hard work raising twins. I’ve had to work hard on myself, my mind, my body. Many of the days I didn’t know how I would make it till bedtime. But I did and I have every single day. I am quite proud of myself, I’m meeting all the requirements on my list, painting, exercising, I guess those are the main ones. 

The studio has been going good. 

  
I’m making headway, exploring line and color. I really love painting and know the trick is to not overthink it. Even yesterday I looked at my stack of finished work, I was going to apply for an alumni show at SFAI. I don’t even know what work I Should   submit, what to take pictures of? My prints? My abstract? My figurative? How do I decide? I have 8 days to figure it out! 

In these situations I have a tendency to start freaking out. Wondering if it’s worth it. What if they reject me? I have to tell myself it doesn’t matter, it’s the process! 

I hear Jack and Fiona waking now, time to go!