Here I Am

Here I am, I’m right here, awwww, a great sigh of relief. Second cup of coffee, not as good as the first, maybe I won’t drink it. House quiet, sky dark outside. A baby doll looking at me, a rocking horse, shadows of light fixtures on the ceiling. Another sigh, relaxed, calm. How can I bring this sense of peace into things once Jack and Fiona wake up? I’m going to try, take deep breaths and smile. “Turn that frown upside down” I’ll say this to the babies when they start having their meltdowns. Wouldn’t that be one of those annoying sayings your mother said to you that made you even madder?

  Clown Face. Round Face. My face. Your Face. 

I’ve been doing a lot of reading on the Dada movement. I realized I am Dada. I have always been interested in Kurt Schwitters and Jean Arp, two of my favorite artists. But as I am going back through my college textbooks, re-reading the section on Dada I realize I was either highly influenced by these artists or I was just born a Dada and had a natural affinity with them. They paved the way for me to do the art I do today. I’m really excited about the SFIAF Dada anniversay show, not only that I am included, but to experience the show and performances. I think the GAP collaborative fits great in the theme of DaDa, we are Dada. 

The babies are Dada too. Infact Hugo Ball said this: ” My proposal to call it Dada is accepted….. Dada in Romanian means yes yes, in French a hobby horse, in German, a sign of absurd naivety.” He continued at a later date, ” childhood as a new world, and everything childlike, and fantastic, everything childlike and direct, everything childlike and symbolic, in opposition to the senilities of the world of grown ups….. The distrust of children, their shut-in quality, their escape from our recognition that they won’t be understood anyway. Childhood is not at all as obvious as is generally assumed.” (Painting and Sculpture in Europe 1880-1940 p. 367)

Jacks so Dada. 

If I could put plastic up in my entire house and turn the whole place into part art studio/ part food lab/ part yoga studio we’d be in business! I wouldn’t have to say no anymore. We could just experiment and make things all day long. Then I would have one room that was just one giant bed, we could all just crash on the floor when we got tired. 

But we return to hard surfaces and sanitation issues. Life in the real world, not the childrens. But I can try to keep the childlike freedom alive inside myself and cultivate it as something to cherish in Jack and Fiona. 

Dada Lives! 

Babies still quiet, but I better get their lunch and breakfast done before I go get them this time. Yesterday trying to do it all with babies I almost caught the house on fire. I burnt two sausages, pancakes, smoke filled the house, Fiona tantrumed, grabbing my legs and falling on the floor as I tried to cook breakfast. It was not good. Today will be different. Today will be good. Today will be peaceful.  


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

About Dirty Laundry Blog

Thoughts on Motherhood Through the Eyes of an Artist