Barrettes are for girls 

Just after 7:00am, sweat beads on my forehead, just drank the last sip of my coffee. Outside the sky, light pink, the trees like statues, I can hear the hum of the freeway echoing through the quiet valley below. I see the bright red sun creeping over the mountain, spots in my eyes from looking. It’s February. 

Jack and Fiona still downstairs in the nursery. I hear a few mamas, cries, and thumps as they begin to wake up. Not much time left to write. Today is an Early Start day, which means I need to be somewhere soon and it takes a lot of organization and determination to get out the door on time with two toddlers. 

Two toddlers that are becoming their own people. They are beginning to talk, especially Jack. Fiona is still a bit behind because of her hearing loss, but her brother fills in the blanks. He understands so much, I ask him “whats under the dresser?” I don’t think he’ll understand but he bends down and looks. I ask him “what do you want to do today?” He says “bouncy house”.  He understands a lot. So when he says “I want Barrette” What can I say? I say “traditionally barrettes are for girls” but he doesn’t really understand that, and I don’t either. The barrettes are super cute with little doggies and kitties. Both Jack and Fiona love little doggies and kitties. 

  
Besides whatever one baby wants the other one wants. I decide to take the barrettes out of both babies hair before they go to the park. I say it is because I don’t want them to get lost. But really I am afraid older boys might see Jack with a kitty barrette and tease him. It’s a cruel world.

I gave Fiona her first homecut bangs on Sunday. She loved it. Jack wanted me to cut his hair too, but I want to use the clippers. I’ll wait until Alan shaves his head and do the same for Jack. 

When we went to the doctor one of the questions on the survey was “what method do you use to discipline?” I realized I don’t really have a “method”. For awhile I just had to say “no” constantly, “don’t put that in your mouth” or “get down from the table” The other day I was at the mall playground, there was another set of twins the same age as Jack and Fiona. The brother bit the sister. The mom grabbed the boy and put him in a time out. He was shamed. I told her Jack bites me and I think its the age, I said I don’t think its to be mean. She thought it was, that he intended to hurt his sister. I felt like I overstepped, I think she felt my judgement,  but I respected her and was slightly envious of the control she had over her children. Her son did not move or say a word the whole time he was in the corner. 

I feel like the babies are just learning and it’s not fair to punish them for a behaviour they don’t understand. I have been just moving away when Jack tries to bite me, not saying anything, and he’s pretty much stopped. But I’m not one for corporal punishment. 

It’s about that time. It’s a beautiful day, time to get the babies dressed for school and head out. I think I’ll bring Billy on a hike! And paint during naptime. 

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About Dirty Laundry Blog

Bay Area Painter, Author, and Mother of Twins.