My eyes ache and spots appear as I peer out the window at the bright morning. It’s Monday February 15th, 2016. It’s 7:35AM but the house is still quiet, babies still sleeping. They will be up soon and I don’t have much time to write. The weekend was fantastic, I had special moments bonding with my whole family, each person so different than the other. Each relationship unique. On Saturday we went to South Beach in Point Reyes. It was a beautiful day, the air still filled with winter, but the sun brought warmth to our faces and the sand we sat on. Jack and Fiona running their hands through the sand watching the tiny little pebbles fall back to the earth. The waves so close drops of sea water touches my mouth and I taste the salt from the ocean. People walk by us, friends and lovers, holding hands and kissing. Happily waving Hello. Jack climbs up on driftwood or sits and contemplates life. Alan buries Fiona in the sand and she laughs. The light is amazing. “want to go for a walk?” Alan asks. “Sure, I’ll catch up” I need to sit here for a few more minutes, write a little longer, savor the moment. Watch the log that just washed up on the shore, watch as the ocean claims it back. So big and so deep. I want to see a whale or a sea lion or pelicans but it’s not that time of the year. I am paralyzed by the tranquility in this day, the love, the fun, the wine. As we walk back to our car I tell people “Happy Valentine’s Day” even though it’s one day early.
The next day the babies are really tired! We took a walk in the stroller and they fell asleep, it’s been months since they fell asleep on a stroller walk. It was so sweet, they looked so peaceful. My husband and I didn’t give each other flowers or cards or gifts this year. We just hung out and enjoyed each other’s company. It was one of our best Valentines days ever. We went out to dinner and ate too much and ate huge desserts! But it was fun. I realized yesterday, something so obvious, but everything we do really is a choice. I don’t think we can skip over the hard parts of life, the depressing parts, sad parts, overthinking parts, but we can learn from everything we go through and choose to live how we want. I don’t think we are helpless, ever. Times may seem like that, but they always pass. That’s my words of wisdom for the day!
It’s time to go now, I hear babies starting to wake up now. Time to make breakfast for Jack and Fiona.