Fiona sat on the floor crying. She called me over to her and was scared Daddy was going to be so mad. We went to the toilet to find out how bad it was. The toilet was filled with white, soft, squishy toilet paper.
I went to the kitchen and got a plastic bag, I pulled out the soggy mess and flushed the toilet. Everything was fine.
Today is a dry, hot, breezy Saturday. It’s another extreme fire danger day. I’m sneaking writing this, letting the kids watch u-tube. I have dishes to do, laundry to do, shopping list to make, and I must play dolls with Fiona today.
I would rather have the day off today. Relax, work in my studio. I worked hard all week long. But I have homemaker (butler) duties still. That never goes away.
I want to start stitching these silk prints. But I don’t think I can today. Tomorrow, Sunday, I will go in my studio with Fiona. That is acceptable. Me asking for alone time in my studio on the weekend is unacceptable. But bringing my daughter in to work with me makes it ok.
“You be the butler since you do the cooking and the cleaning, I’ll be the Princess, Daddy will be the King, and Jack, you’ll be the Prince” says Fiona after I had set out pancakes, sausage, syrup, butter, and milk on the table for breakfast.
“Mom, you’re the best pancake maker ever” says Jack.
“Thanks guys!” I say.
Immediately I think about my obsession about getting my teaching credential and my masters in Special Education. I figured out today, whatI’ve already known, that I need to study for and take the CSET first. That will be my project once I’ve completed “20 Days in a Pandemic.”
I’ve got a blessing from so many people already, so many, I only have one important blessing left to receive.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with butlers. There’s nothing wrong with motherhood, domesticity, cooking, cleaning, being Jenny Homemaker. I love it. I love my life and my family. But being a housewife was never my goal in life. My goal has always been to help people, make art, and write. That’s been my goal since I was young. I used to want to be a art therapist, then a nurse, then a special ed teacher. I have wanted to get my teaching credential for over twenty years!!!! I took the CBEST over 20 years ago!
My mom talked me out of becoming a teacher the first time. I was working at a department store. I was an assistant manager in the boys department, on my way to become a department manager. I was also working on my portfolio to apply to graduate school in painting. My mom thought the department store job was great. She saw me as s businesswoman and encouraged me to get my MBA instead of an MFA! Which was funny, I’ve never considered myself a business person!
So on it went, my long time working retail. Once I started dating my husband I kept making art and working on my portfolio. But I quit my job and started also trying to start a family. I did not know that process would take ten years.
When Jack and Fiona were young I started thinking about my teaching credential again. But my daughters needs, studying sign language religiously, being a parent and parent advocate has taken all my time.
The day got away from me It’s 7:41 pm and my daughter still wants me to play dolls with her. I am in my closet, I snuck downstairs to change into pajamas!
Before I came down my daughter was going number two. My husband was yelling down the hall to not put too much toilet paper in the toilet. They are coming down here now, Knocking on the door. I
I have so much I want to write about today. But I can’t.
I know I wanted to keep my project separate from my everyday blogging. I envisioned it being in a separate section on my Dirty Laundry Blog. I could see a piece of art paired with a poetic piece of writing. But for now that’s all gone by the wayside. My main concern is writing and painting everyday. It’s my top priority.
Then I will figure out how to organize it online and in the Gallery.
My studio session was longer today than usual, I have a babysitter today. I actually worked for two whole hours! I neglected studying for ASL though. But I did get a bunch of information on an on-line Teacher Prep program/Masters in Special Education. It is exactly what I want. I just don’t know if it is a degree mill? The classes look really good. The cost is reasonable and I can use the Teachers Credit from the Federal Government.
I can’t wait until tomorrow. And the next Sixteen Days.
Dirty Laundry Blog by Jennifer Hynes 