Losers freaks lost souls guns guns guns, is this what’s causing my anxiety? The headline says  “they are lost souls” They stole a gun, broke into a car down at Fishermans Wharf. They carried that gun all the way to Portland. The pope,  religion, It’s all contaminated my mind and riddled my heart. I’ve been working though my anxiety in paint and word. 

 
It’s working, but my body is fatigued and I feel like I need a long break.  The past three days have been rough.  

 Jack and Fiona were both sick, cranky, whiny, crying, Billy’s been barking, they all need me, they clutch onto me. Jack and Fiona have gotten really heavy and I can’t hold/carry both of them at one time. I can’t hold one without the other one crying and grabbing my legs. It tears me apart, I have all these beings needing me to care for them and It’s almost impossible at times to please them all. And I feel bad. I know they’ll grow out of this phase and once they are out of Billy’s direct line of fire, I’ll be able to relax a little. Right now it’s rough. I started writing on my paintings, writing things that are really personal, spontaneously, in my own cursive writing. It feels really good.