Collaboration Day with Carl in Prep for our Fourth Wall Gallery show with WW3 in our peripheral vision

I woke up early this morning, 6:30AM, I thought “Yea! I have some time to write and have my coffee”. Jack and Fiona went to sleep super late, 10:00PM, so I thought they would sleep in. “Mama, MOM, Mommy” I hear Jack as I walk up the stairs, experimenting in different ways to call me. I start to make my coffee and toast thinking he’ll fall back asleep, but I hear his calls, go get him, turn on Masha and The Bear, give him dry cereal, a banana, and an apple juice box. He’s content, I start to check my e-mails, Facebook, and here comes Fiona. I give her the same, put in her hearing aids, and they are both content. I haven’t read the news this morning, I didn’t sleep well last night. I started worrying, what if someone does the TRULY UNTHINKABLE, what if someone gets their hands on a nuclear weapon? I started worrying this is WW3. I didn’t sleep well. I  escaped yesterday for a few hours, it felt GREAT! I finally had some time to work with Carl on some collaborations for our upcoming show at The Fourth Wall Gallery in Oakland. ( ) We’ve been trying to get together for months it seems, but I haven’t been able to make it happen. Yesterday I did and we had a great session. Carl had several starts I responded to right away. My creativity automatically kicked in, mixing colors, making marks with paint, ink, brushes, palette knives. We both used frags from work we were done with, we hated, Carl cut the pieces up, giving overworked pieces’ new life, a new role to play. My own marks and messes that frustrated me before now inspired me in the new form and shape they took. Our last three or four pieces we created together really sung, we minimized our marks down to the bare minimum. Into pure line, movement, spontaneity, and stream of consciousness, two spirits merging. I responded to the news I heard on my way over, the world imploding, not with anger, but with marks inspired by the wind. I could hear the fresh, chilly, Sausalito foggy breeze outside, it permeated me and moved through my arm and hand. The good feeling, I held inside me, being out, getting a coffee, sitting in a coffee shop waiting for lunch to be ready, talking to fellow customers, being told I have a “Good attitude towards food”, he asked if I liked the coffee, “Yes, it’s the best Iced Coffee I’ve ever had” I say. At that moment it was, and during the moments I worked, painting, only words spoken between Carl and I about this mark or that, I am extremely grateful. To have the space and time to be creative. This is all I can do.

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Thoughts on Motherhood Through the Eyes of an Artist