Dirty Laundry Blog by Jennifer Hynes

Our Hike: Cataract to High Marsh to Kent to Cross Country Boys to Ben Stein

August 9th, 2015
Yesterday the babies woke up bouncing off the walls. The first thing they did was take the childproofing off the edge of the fireplace. Jack, Fiona, and I had plans to hang out with Danny and I decided it better be something active, at least a trip to the park. By the time we were ready to go it was after 10:00AM so we decided to go somewhere with a drive so Jack and Fiona could take a short nap in the car. It was such a beautiful morning we decided to do a hike on Mt. Tam with the backpack carriers. On the drive up Danny and I caught up on our lives, we talked about Dad, the documentary, the babies. We passed cyclists out for their morning workouts, passing less and less of them as we got higher up the curving road. The fog thickened gradually until I couldn’t see very far in front as I drove. Out the side windows it looked like there was nothing, just a drop into a giant light grey mass. When we arrived to the Rock Springs parking lot Fiona woke up right away but we had to wait a half hour more for Jack to wake up. Danny took Fiona out and showed her the green moss on the tree trunk and the assortment of acorns, sticks, leaves, and pebbles on the forest floor. I started getting the packs ready, stocking the lower compartment with diapers, a change of clothes for each baby, water and food for all four of us. We sent Fiona in the car to wake jack up, he opened his eyes and a smile appeared on his face. I was afraid he would still be tired and start crying but he was only happy and excited. As I put him in the carrier he bounced and wiggled with a look of pure joy on his face. Billy was really excited too, she had been whimpering to get going the whole time we waited for jack to finish his nap. I set the giant back pack carrier with Jack in it on my bumper. I squatted down and put on the straps, straightened my legs and stood up, it was heavy, the weight moved from my hips down to the bottom of my feet. We started to walk, thinking I knew the way by heart. At the first trail intersection I second guessed myself so we walked back up to the map to double check, I took a picture this time!

The first time I took this hike was with my mom. We loved hiking together. We headed out with a map but we still got lost! We used to argue about which way we were going, even though I have a great sense of direction my mom would always second guess me and we always got lost. But that was part of the fun. Our feet would hurt, our legs burning, panic started to take over, the sun would start to move creating shadows that moved across our red sweaty faces and under our feet. It was an adventure. I thought of this yesterday and decided that it wouldn’t be as fun with two toddlers, so Danny and I made sure we didn’t get lost. As we walked along the High Marsh Trail I pointed to the view, the fog was trailing the mountain ridge in the distance making its way to the sea. I don’t know if Jack was seeing it like I was and he didn’t know that this was my mom’s favorite part of the trail and that I could feel her with us. Danny was up ahead and Billy in the middle of the pack. My gluteal muscles were burning and my heart was starting to pump. The hike was starting to get strenuous, especially with Jack on my back. Danny and I swapped half way through the hike and when I put Fiona on my back I felt like I wasn’t carrying anything at all.

As we were hiking I fantasized and talked to Danny about going back packing next summer with the babies and taking them camping. I told Danny the story about Mom taking us hiking on Palomar mountain, showing me coyote poop and telling me you can tell what a coyote had for dinner by his poop, this one had rabbit. That was such a transformational moment for me on the dirt path with the rocks and my mom taking the time to take us there and tell me about coyote poop. I don’t know why but I think about that moment all the time. Yesterday thoughts ran through my head, the same thoughts I’ve had many times before, I love hiking more than anything, there’s nothing I’d rather be doing than hiking. When I got home I wondered, is hiking my favorite thing to do? I love being out in the trees on a trail far away from houses and cars. Jack and Fiona love it too and by next summer I hope to have them walking a lot more on their own!
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Jack and Fiona can no longer be fenced in!

August 4th, 2015
Well, the time has come that the baby fences no longer work to keep Jack and Fiona in! They just push the fence down against the stairs and crawl over. Then this happens in a blink of an eye:


They climb up on the tables, they get into everything and anything. I feel like there’s a tornado spinning all around me, the energy they have is memorizing! Every time I think I’ve covered all my bases they find something I’ve missed, like pushing a stool from the kitchen down the stairs. It’s exhausting!


Today I decided to take the babies to the Zoo. I did something I’ve never done before, two major(what is major with twins anyhow) activities in one day. This morning we went to the gym. I got to do spin and Jack and Fiona went to play center. I have been going first thing in the morning and feeding the babies breakfast in the car. It’s working out great! I didn’t know what would happen if I left the gym and drove somewhere else, if they would stay awake and get super tired and break down, or if they would do as they have, fall asleep! They are getting a great nap!

Cars are pulling in the parking lot, kids getting sunscreen slathered on their faces, seagulls squawking, friends talking. I’m sitting in my car, babies sleeping, bladder full, waiting for them to wake!

It’s a strange day for San Francisco, warm, humid, air.

I think Jack just woke up, lets look:


Going to the Zoo Zoo Zoo!!
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The Black Cat

August 3rd, 2015
There was a tunnel, Billy was with me, it was dark, then I felt a spider crawling on my face, I rose up quickly and swatted it off, it crawled down my neck and my back then fell to the ground. I almost woke up Alan, I was so scared. My old fears of ghosts were back, one was in the half open closet waiting for me. I imagined a mother spider just gave birth to a million little spiders and they were all crawling under my bed. I was so spooked I checked on the babies and made sure all the doors were locked. Fiona was sucking her thumb, I was surprised she does it in the middle of the night. Jack was quietly sleeping. Then I went back to sleep. In the morning Alan opened the garage door and Billy came trotting in, she had gotten out last night. I must have heard her escape or heard the thing she was after, like coyotes howling. Then, this morning I went outside and a Black Cat was staring at Billy, I couldn’t make out much, but its silhouette, with the curvature of its hind legs and its pointy thin ears and the sun shining through the pink parts at the tips. I could see its green eyes. The contrast between the light brown cut grass and the Cat in front of the Bay Tree trunk was surreal. Billy was laying down with her two front legs stretched out and her chin was resting on the bottom rail of the metal fence. I tried to chase the coincidence away from my mind. Did the Black Cat mean something? Is someone trying to tell me something? Is that Black Cat my mom?

I walked back into the house bringing Billy with me. Jack and Fiona were at the back door waiting for me. I had already told them we were going to the park this morning and taking Billy for a walk. I decided I better keep Billy close to me for a while. She is our protector. This morning’s activities were one of those must do’s that I have a hard time doing because My body and mind have been feeling under the weather, a small cloud of depression, introspection, fatigue, anticipation, and rawness is picking at my insides. I can only blame this on one thing, hormones. I got the babies and myself ready, everyone in the van, drove up over the hill and down the road to a new park we’ve never been to. We took Billy for her walk first, I was feeling fifty- fifty, It was a beautiful morning and we were having a nice walk except that Billy kept sniffing everything and Fiona kept pulling at the thing on the stroller with little pockets for my coffee and stuff. I felt annoyed, very annoyed, but kept my cool for the most part. When I got back to the car to put Billy in so I could take the babies to the playground I did something that felt really crazy. I went back and forth in my mind several times, and decided the benefits outweighed the risks. I moved my car two spots up to be under a tree so Billy would stay nice and cool. I left Jack and Fiona on the sidewalk in the stroller. I was so scared my heart was racing and I didn’t buckle my seat belt. I jumped out of the car and ran to the stroller. No one saw, no one was around, and everything was fine.
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