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Dirty Laundry Blog by Jennifer Hynes

  • I peed in the back of my Honda Odysseey minivan!

    April 26th, 2015

    I crossed the line, in the parking lot outside my fancy gym. Someone could see me. I think it through, looking side to side, at where I parked. Could I squat beside my car? Too visible. I put Jack and Fiona in their seats, fold up the stroller, load it in the back with the diaper bag leaving room “just in case”, I turn on the car. I should start driving now, I’ll be home in ten minutes. My bladder is so full though. It hurts. It’s going to hurt on the way home, and what if something happens, a delay? Traffic? I thought about going on the way to the car. I had several choices. There’s a public bathroom in the mall. It seemed too far. Next I thought about going back into the gym, but with the stroller and babies it seemed like such an ordeal. There’s a plastic cup with some grapes, I throw the grapes in a dirty Tupperware. Get in the back of my Honda Odyssey Minivan. The babies are looking at me, I squat and pee in the cup. What an influence I am. It fills up fast, pee gets on the rubber mat. A man comes to his car parked next to mine. I pull up my pants, act like I’m doing something other than peeing. I wait for him to leave and pour the pee under my car. As I’m driving out of the parking lot Mall Security is behind me. I get scared, are they going to pull me over? Did they see me? It’s probably illegal to pour excrement out in the parking lot.

    fionaswing

    I was reading a post on the multiples group forum. They were talking about potty training. One lady said she keeps a potty in her car. So it must not be illegal to go potty in the back of a car. But what does she do with the excrement after her kid pees or poos? I saw one lady at the park with a potty. I thought it was my imagination. I wonder how many adults have used their kid’s potty. The portable potty thing makes me think of the ladies who clip their nails in the sauna. It’s one of those things that is best kept private. But who am I to talk?

    jackpark

    Yesterday was a great Saturday! My husband was nice and relaxed. We did our Yoga, lunch thing. He had a massage  before Yoga. Babies took their nap at the correct time. All I had to do was the usual, get ready. I think moms, especially moms of twins are super-duper multitaskers!   The amount of things that need to be done to leave the house is CRAZY! Then my husband sends me two texts: “Can you bring a Jacket for me please?”  Yes. Then I’m in the car ready to go: “I also forgot my belt for my nautilus shorts. The one with no holes.”  This is at 10:35. I have to actually search for a specific belt! Found. I lay on my mat and can’t stop thinking, “he only had himself to get ready” but as we lay in Baddha Konasana I breathe in, I breathe out. I let those thoughts leave my mind as fast as they enter. It’s very liberating. We enjoy the rest of our day having lunch and going to a beautiful park. The babies ran and ran and played on the slide. It was great!

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  • My Childfree day!( Studio time and Yoga.)

    April 25th, 2015

    piccollagegirlMy studio is a mess, paint stains everywhere, piles and piles of overworked pieces. A Stack of work I like, books, and  a giant bag of garbage. I do a quick clean up, clear my mixing counter, take everything off my press and set up my blankets, and the tension. Prepare my plexi glass and start to work. It’s all experimentation today. I haven’t been on the press in a long time. My abstract explorations are influencing my work on the plate. It’s a strange feeling working flat after working with so much texture. When I’m painting I use different mediums to create thick and thin layers, adding collage, watercolor, acrylic, and graphite for line.

    piccollagegirlI don’t get much time to work, not like before I had Jack and Fiona. But I work fast and consider everything ideas and sketches, some are great, others don’t work at all. I am not concerned with that, I’m more focused on just doing it.

    I made a decision yesterday at yoga, “My Intention.”  I decided when I’m done working in my studio, or done writing a piece, or have put the babies to bed for the night,  anything really, I’m going to live that moment fully. Then move on to the present. The next piece I write or painting I paint or time spent with my babies will be fresh and new. No more RUMINATING! I think it will be good. As I was walking  Billy yesterday, with this intention in mind I felt a surge of freedom, like I was a kid again.

     

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  • Why do I care what nannies do at the park while watching other peoples kids?

    April 24th, 2015

    I’m getting so mad. 4:44, I put the babies down for their nap at 3:00. They’ve been whining the whole time. This is one of the hardest situation, the times I really need a break and the babies really need a nap, but it doesn’t happen. We went to a new park today. It was a good one, it even had a big tree giving some shade. There were two nannies, one with a ten month old baby. The other, a young nanny watching two kids.  Theo, a three year old who I coaxed into saying scared over and over because it sounded so cute and his five year old sister, Nia who was the most mature out of all of us. There was one mom of three, her son Jackson is around the same age as Jack and Fiona. She was really cool, but I felt insecure again. She looked so put together and way younger than me. I don’t know why I have that hang up. It’s weird. I just feel so tattered. Immediately aware of my red face from allergies, my wrinkles, and my undone hair. My clothes covered in food and paint. The nannies once again talked to each other in Spanish the whole time.  Theo and Nia seemed desperate to talk and have interaction with me, Jack, and Fiona. I guess the nannies job is just to supervise, make sure no one gets hurt or hurts another child. To feed and take care of all the basic needs. I haven’t seen nannies playing with the kids they watch so far. I’ve seen a lot talking on phones. As I yell “You be careful now” from behind my laptop. Fiona and Jack are playing on the sofa. I’m a firm believer they need to play together without me, of course. Maybe the nannies get crappy pay and feel they do enough work for what they get. I guess it just seems like they aren’t very engaged with the kids they watch. Do they love kids? Do they love their profession? Or is it just a job? And why do I even care?

    jacklaughsatfi

    The picture above shows a funny story. I give jack and Fiona water in their regular cups. Jack drinks out of it, getting most of the water in his mouth. Fiona is usually able to as well. I’m cleaning up from dinner and Fiona starts Bawling! (Oh I realized I’ve spelt bawling wrong in every other post!! I spelt it Balling!) Her face is super red and she even has tears. I give it a minute because I can’t understand why she’s so upset. I see her top is wet, she spilt her water, but big deal. She doesn’t stop crying, so I go over and pick her up. I realize she’s scared. (The way Theo says scared pops in my head) I think the water spilling frightened her and Jack started laughing.

    I’m not sure what’s happening with my dad. I felt so emotionally drained yesterday, so drained I wonder if it’s worth it. Danny is going to send my dad money for the plane tickets. We’ve decided if he squanders the money and doesn’t come then that’s it. We’re done. Clean and simple. If he makes some effort for once in his life we’ll keep him in our lives. My mom would say, “Don’t hold your breath you guys.”

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  • A journal: 20 Days during the Pandemic. Getting back in the studio. Daily Writing and Studio Practice September 21st to October 10th 2020.
  • Blog
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  • Random Tips for twin parents

 

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