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Dirty Laundry Blog by Jennifer Hynes

  • Breezy Bay Blue Sky

    July 30th, 2019

    “Did you wear hearing aids when you were a girl?” Fiona asks.

    This is the second time the subject has come up. I don’t think she understands yet, that she’s the only one in the family who wears hearing aids and that no one else has ever worn hearing aids. It’s interesting. And how do I explain these things.

    Yesterday Jack said he was going to marry me when I shrunk back down to a baby. They think our lives repeat. We grow old then grow young again. Like in the movie!

    It’s strange trying to explain these concepts of life and death and our bodies aging, changing, being different from each other.

    I can’t believe it’s almost August. Fiona has another audiology appointment Thursday. I wish I could cancel but several people have been waiting for the results of this final hearing test. Since there’s been so many changes in Fionas hearing in the past year.

    It’s been really intense lately. But I still feel we have progressed, Jack has been behaving better and signed a whole sentence to me this morning. Fiona has begun to ask more questions about specific words, like Jacks been doing for a very long time.

    I tried to get Fiona to wear her left hearing aid this morning but she took it out right away. She said “ouch” when I put it in, then said she her voice sounded weird.

    I can’t get myself to force her to wear it.

    I worked on my new project. It’s all work in progress. There’s a stitched element I will start next.

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  • 50/50 Show Sanchez Art Center curated, next project in the wings

    July 29th, 2019

    Today my crit group helped me curate my 50 pieces for installation in the 50/50 show at Sanchez Art Center.

    I had so many great moments working on this project, hard moments, but worth it moments. I was manic at times, totally drained at others. I scraped, peeled, painted, stained, washed, pressed, collaged, destroyed, and resurrected for nearly 50 days. I mostly binge painted. I have:

    My son just walked in mid thought, mid writing, its like he wants to annoy me.

    It’s been two days since I started this post. My son has been going through a phase. It’s been so draining. But I think I cracked the code! I know he’s felt jealous of the extra attention I give Fiona. At least I think he is. His misbehavior got way worse after Fiona lost her hearing in her left ear and had her ear infection. I’ve had to be on top of my game with learning ASL, getting the whole family to take the ASL class together, making sure I’m teaching Fiona as much vocabulary as Jack automatically gets just by incidental hearing. Fiona and I also share the love of art and animals. I’ve struggled to spend quality time with Jack lately even though I try. But yesterday I figured out his love, games! We played checkers and Alan taught him how to play Chess. He was on top of the moon. His bad behavior stopped. He turned into the sweet Jack he always was. Jealousy is no excuse for bad behavior, but raising twins is a delicate balance.

    Special time with Jack means playing games! I got this!

    Two weeks left until Kindergarten starts! Its so crazy, I can’t believe it. This week the kids are at camp. I’m going to wrap up my statement for my 50/50 show, start my new portrait project for a show coming up late fall, and work on my second book! I also want to do some purging!

    Lets hope the positive behavior continues with Jack this week!

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  • Deep Breath Relax Let Go

    July 25th, 2019

    “Why are you talking like that?” Jack asked me.

    He had just started throwing pillows of the futon during story time. Tears had started rolling down my cheeks, my voice quivering.

    “Because I’m tired Jack, it’s exhausting saying No, don’t do that all day long” I said.

    I gained control of myself and finished the stories.

    I went to bed and Jack and Fiona came in several times for several hugs and kisses. Jack was extra sweet and since it was Ice Cream truck day after camp, things went swimmingly all day.

    Fiona was so happy when I picked her up from camp and she even told me she met a new friend. There was no hitting after camp and I’m hoping today can be as smooth.

    I’m so tired and need a break. I might skip my Spanish class to get a few hours in my studio. I feel bad because I only have three Spanish classes left. Its a tough choice but when there’s only a few hours of alone time each day I have to make these tough choices.

    I need to have some down time. Breath in breath out time. I’m tired of all the politics and being bogged down by the injustices of our world.

    The constant fight is exhausting. I’ve been working so hard and find myself here on an island totally isolated.

    We were practicing fingerspelling last night at story time, Jack was sweet there too and he’s really good at fingerspelling and his ASL alphabet! One of the exercises was to spell our friends names front and backwards and practice numbers by doing our friends phone numbers.

    Again I can’t even think of a friend I have I could call up and invite over! Is that crazy after all this time! People are so busy, and my dhh playgroup ain’t panning out!

    Crazy! But I love my alone time. And I’m looking forward to fall spending more time in Berkeley.

    Maybe it’s Marin. It seems hard to make good friends in Marin. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.

    I’m gonna get back into meditation. I’m gonna do my ASL program in the fall, keep painting and writing and raising my kids.

    Try to relax and have fun.

    .

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  • A journal: 20 Days during the Pandemic. Getting back in the studio. Daily Writing and Studio Practice September 21st to October 10th 2020.
  • Blog
  • Catitudes
  • Dirty Laundry Blog
  • My Peloton version 2
  • Portfolio
  • Random Tips for twin parents

 

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